I haven't posted about the Inferno II in a while; mostly because the show seems rather slow. However, last week we lost Julie to an Inferno, which pleased me immensely. Next week we've got Dan scheduled against Landon, and I'm rooting for Dan to win. Not because I like him that much or anything, but Landon's new reverse mohawk makes it impossible for me to give even the slightest crap about him. I'm despising CT and hating myself for beginning to find Abe sort of attractive. I wish the Mean Girls would all go jump in a lake, and Tonya just makes me depressed. Can't they just give all the money to Jamie? I find her the least offensive.
And Real World: Austin starts in like three weeks!
I'm very meh about the Inferno II, but I've GOT to say that "Congratulations, son, you're a meathead. Now keep your hands out of my underwear" might be the greatest words ever uttered on reality television.
A reader emailed yesterday and asked why we don't talk about the RW/RR Challenges anymore. I don't know...I guess people lost interest. Max? J.Go? Interested in writing about it? Anyway, I'll start with last night's episode. How much of a bitch do you have to be to make me actually feel sympathy for TONYA? Veronica, Rachel and Tina are some nasty girls. I wish MTV would stop inviting them on these things. It always astounds me how big these people's egos get, when they are barely D-list celebrities. Hell, they're Z-list celebrities. The only people lower than them on the Hollywood totem are Big Brother housemates (and I read today that Scott of BB5 is now dating Robin of RW San Diego; god help us, the famewhores are mingling). Back to the show. The Good Guys are making a comeback and the Bad Asses seem to be falling apart. Abe and Mike will be going to the Inferno to compete against each other. Judging from the previews they showed immediately after, it seems like Mike must lose, since I didn't notice him in any and Abe was in all of them. Nice job, MTV editors.
Just when you thought elections couldn't get any more screwed up, this week gave us two more examples of "crazy democracy" in action:
*On the RW/RR Battle of the Sexes 2, the girls finally won a challenge and celebrated by voting off...Cynthia? Even I was surprised by this, since there seemed to be so much anti-Angela sentiment on the team that getting rid of her was a no-brainer. I was right there with trashy ol' Tina when she called bulls**t on the whole thing. What are those girls thinking? Don't they know that Angela and her heinous asymmetrical bangs must be banished--if not from earth, then at least from the ranch? And I almost felt bad for Derrick, who seemed close to tears when he got kicked off by the boys...but then I remembered that he's UNSTABLE AND VIOLENT, so you know, no big whoop.
*On The Biggest Loser, Skinny-Faced Aaron's eviction completely came out of nowhere. What was that all about? Kelly Mac seemed to imply something about a retaliation vote gone awry, but who knows? All I know is that Aaron's been a consistent big loser (remember, that's good on this show) for the Blue team for 3 weeks in a row--and for his hard work they send him home? It's not like Big Mo (more annoying by the week!) is going to pick up the slack. The Reds, with the combined weight-shedding power of Matt and Ryan, now seem to be poised to take it all. I hope Bob punishes those Blues, run-till-you-puke-stizz, but good.
Okay, I'm going to post about Battle of the Sexes 2 on the same night it's aired (shocking!) because I won't have time to do it from work tomorrow, and I want to know what other folks thought about it. Spoiler queens aren't going to have to suck it up for this one, though--I won't reveal who gets kicked off at the end until the comments section. (By the way, if you're actually watching this show for the "suspense" of who gets booted instead of the screaming and drinking and fighting and trash-talking, then you might need to re-examine your reality TV priorities.)
Anyway, I think we'll all agree that this is a textbook case of a show we love to hate. Seriously, are we supposed to actively root for any of these people? Even the nice ones pretty much admit that they're on the show to make some cash without having to--gasp!--get a real job. Maybe it's me, but that doesn't punch my sympathy buttons too hard. Only Cameran--sweet, lovely Cameran--seems into the whole experience for the fun of it all. This means, of course, that she'll probably be gone in a couple of episodes.
Lingering questions after Episode 1:
*What do we think about Mark and Eric ("E-Nizzle") coming back again? How old are these guys? And are they really thrilled about the prospect of winning a Spring Break trip to Cancun in the first challenge? Maybe they're okay being the skeevy-older-brother type, but I'm doubtful.
*Why isn't Aneesa getting more screen time? The girl sang (beautifully, I might add), "So many leeeesbians--Wooooo!" at the opening of the show and then we lost her. I'm all for Coral getting lots of airtime with her smack-talking, but you know Aneesa's getting in some good ones, too.
*Once again, the rules seem kind of convoluted and require more than one level of thinking. Isn't it interesting how MTV imposes the most Byzantine sets of rules on a group made up of arguably the dumbest folks on TV? (That said, I like the "Vote out a member of the inner circle" twist.)
*I didn't watch RR X-treme, but this Angela chick? No way. Good go***mn, those asymmetrical bangs are heinous!
*Did the editors leave in all of the "It's a celebration!" remarks despite the fact that it instantly dates the show?
*As always, there are plenty of folks who need to be "on medication" or "on a therapist's couch" instead of "on TV"--but I guess that's what keeps us coming back week after week. I've already Season-Passed (is that a verb yet?) it.
Yep, folks, it's almost time for another of MTV's pseudo-celebrity game show! TVGasm posts their thoughts on this year's cast, and I fall in love with them all over again.
So who watched the Inferno reunion special last night? We've all seen the episodes, so there's no need to rehash any of that mess--let's focus on what's really important: how everyone looked on the special. Holly and Christena looked amazing--I think Christena may well be the prettiest (and most appealing overall) Road Rules alumnus ever. Katie looked decent--at least she looked healthy instead of all bloated and pasty (her normal Inferno look). The verdict is still out on CT, as I thought he was really workin' the shaved-head thing. Coral's breasts have gotten even larger, apparently (she had the killer line last night, when she began one of her answers with, "Well you know, LaLa..." I mean--how stupid is calling yourself LaLa?). And Abe--that boy needs some serious counseling. NOW. You could write your dissertation on the rage issues going on in that kid. I find him genuinely scary.
I know this is bordering on blasphemy, but I, for one, could take a break from the RW/RR competitions for a little while. Just a quick breather, you know? I'll still watch Road Rules X-TREME (Hi, MTV? 1998 called--they'd like that all-caps adjective back), but that may be enough competition for me this summer.
Did you catch the finale of the RW/RR Inferno last night? I can't believe Road Rules won. What a bunch of a-holes, all of them. How stupid is the Real World team; can't even do a crossword puzzle. You know what the best part of the show was? The part about halfway through where MTV showed a commercial for the reunion next week and showed Coral yelling about HOW ROAD RULES WON. Good one, dummies. Not like I care that much anyway, but how about letting us just watch your stupid show without giving away the ending all the time. Gah.
Was last night the finale of the RW/RR Inferno? I think it was. Discuss it in the comments, although I won't be looking until I tape a repeat. For some reason, my TiVo didn't record it. This is probably my fault; most likely I deleted it by accident during some crazed "I Must Clean Up My To-Do List" moment. Sigh.
What the hell happened on last night's RW/RR Inferno? If they didn't tell Kendall they were going to throw the mission, then why were they so angry at her? How is it her fault? And how badly has The Miz lost his mind? He's lucky Kendall didn't shove one of those bricks right up his obnoxious...well, you know where I'm going with this. Someone needs to sit this cast down and tell them to freaking pull it together. Watching teams throw missions each week is NOT interesting and NOT worth my time. Also, The Inferno? Are they kidding us with this? Carry bricks back and forth for three hours? What a joke.
All I have to say about last night's Inferno is, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA." The joy of seeing Julie beaten...and BEATEN BY KATIE! The looks on the Road Rulers' faces (especially Veronica) when they realized they had just given away $10,000 and were still stuck with Katie. Oh man, Katie, was I rooting for you. Those people are real a-holes. Abe needs a slap in the face. Last night was also one of the first times in a long time that Coral got on my nerves. Rein it in, girl, the yelling and screaming does not become you.
The Inferno was pathetic last night. As a trained family mediator, I was shocked to learn that girl-on-girl wrestling was the way to resolve conflicts. I clearly missed an important class. Does Julie really think that's going to solve problems. "Hey, I'll beat Coral on the mat, becoming the alpha dog, and then Coral will forever be silent?" Um. False logic. These people are tools.
As much of a pain as the girl seems to be, I couldn't help but feel very satisifed at Katie's performance during last night's RW/RR Inferno. What was Christina thinking, telling her exactly how they were going to vote her out? Good one, stupid. She was so confident that she would kick Katie's ass; I cheered when she dropped out. And that mission was gross. Timmy's Howard Cosell impression was hilarious during the Inferno; Syrus was probably the only one who even knew what he was talking about.
Not much to report on last night's RW/RR Inferno installment. For some reason, I really hate Jeremy. I know the boy is trying to prove himself, but his energy just hits me wrong. He's a weenie. I so hope he doesn't get the lifesaver-thingy in the upcoming challenge, so "The Miz" can then destroy him in the inferno.
Speaking of The Miz, he's very cute with Kendal. Ahh.. Reality TV Love.