Welcome to the Survivor finale! We start with the final four women shrieking and hugging and dancing in nightvision after Tribal Council. They are extremely proud of themselves, let's just leave it at that, okay? They dance around and I'm excited for them, but you know that every one of them in the back of her mind is all, "How can I stab her ass in the back tomorrow?"
The ladies wake up the next morning and continue laughing about ousting all the men. Oh shut up, Parvati. The only thing you did was lie on the beach at Exile Island. Piss off. The cameramen are obviously happy she's there, though, as we're forced to watch the Ass-Cam as she climbs a tree to cut down some coconuts. Oh, and Natalie appears to be falling in love with her.
This week's Tree Mail looks suspiciously like a bong. Unfortch, it's not. The next immunity challenge is afoot and Cirie lets us know that Natalie is next on the chopping block. Which means she'll probably win immunity, heh. The challenge is a multi-part one where the ladies have to stand on a perch in the water and fill up a chute with water in order to raise up a key. The key will unlock a box on shore which holds a ladder. They must put the ladder together and climb up to a platform to win. Natalie is close, but Amanda gets there first and wins immunity.
Back at camp, Amanda is thrilled to have made Final Three. Natalie tells us that she knows she is probably next to go, but that she's going to fight. Amanda and Parvati talk about how they're totally going to win, and Amanda tells us that it might be time for Cirie to go. I feel like this is a red herring, though. I guess we'll see.
Tribal Council. I wonder if Erik will be clean shaven. He is. He looks like Kristy McNichol.
Jeff congratulates the women on their four straight blindsides and Natalie takes a little bow. Ugh. Jeff wonders if there will be a blindside tonight. He floats the idea of a Final Two instead of a Final Three, and Cirie says that she would be upset about that, as she feels she's the Third of the Final Three. Amanda takes offense to that and things start to get ugly. The two argue for a bit while Natalie sits and looks smug. Voting. Jeff reads the votes. And Natalie is voted out. Yay. Parvati next, please!
As the remaining women arrive back at camp after Tribal, Amanda and Cirie get into it again. Amanda tells Cirie that it looked like she was trying to make Amanda and Parvati look bad at Tribal Council. Well, duh, Amanda, remember when you did it to Erik? Cirie is yelling about Amanda hooking up with Ozzy and Parvati hooking up with James and how she is always at the bottom of every alliance. They sort of yell themselves exhausted and then all apologize to each other and hug and it's actually kind of sweet and sad. Amanda sobs to the camera that she is so tired and reminds us that she came straight from Survivor: China to this one and my god, she must be mentally destroyed.
The next morning, the women decide to let the chicken go and the chicken won't leave. Too funny. They find some tree mail and they find out it's really going to be a Final Two and not a Final Three. O SNAP. They are gobsmacked. Amanda is completely distraught. Cirie tells us they pretty much deserve the shock for what they've done to everyone before them. Heh. Before the challenge, though, they have to go on the Canoe Ride of Fallen Survivors, aka Who The Hell was Mary, Anyway?
Seven hours later, we're finally finished watching that shit. On to the Immunity Challenge! It's hard to explain, but they have a handle in each hand that holds a piece of wood in between. A marble sits in the middle of the wood and they have to keep it balanced. Every few minutes they will have to put it down and then add another piece and pick up the whole thing again. It looks really difficult. Parvati drops hers in the third round. Cirie and Amanda continue. I AM SO STRESSED OUT WATCHING THIS YOU GUYS. Cirie drops hers and Amanda wins immunity! Yay for her!
Back at camp, Cirie tells us she thought she had this one in the bag, as she holds instruments without moving in surgery all the time. Wow, good point. Amanda mopes around, telling everyone she doesn't know what to do, she doesn't know who to bring to the Final Two with her. This goes on for about ten years. Finally, Tribal Council. Natalie has apparently missed her makeup very, very much.
Jeff asks Amanda how she feels and Amanda is all "Wah, it's so hard to be such a winner!" and I'm sort of over her sad face. She walks up to make her final vote and sobs all over the place. Jeff says, "I'll go get the vote," which is always my favorite part of the finale. Amanda votes out Cirie, which means there is a 50/50 chance that Parvati is going to win this game.
The next morning at camp, Amanda and Parvati celebrate with a big breakfast and yadda. They then set fire to the camp and paddle over to the final Tribal Council. Amanda opens by thanking everyone for their friendship and stresses her loyalty. Parvati, on the other hand, talks about how many power plays she made. The jury does not seem to be impressed. Then it's the jury's turn to ask their useless, self-serving questions. This season's winner for Stupidest and Most Random Question ever goes to Natalie when she asks Parvarti about her sex life. Seriously, wtf. Also, Ozzy uses his time to drool all over Amanda.
And the voting begins. Seriously, Eliza, ham it up a bit more. Probst takes the votes and runs off. We arrive at the live show in NYC and damn, Amanda is nearly unrecognizable. She has boobs! Jeff reads the votes: Parvati, Amanda, Parvati, Amanda, Parvati, Amanda, Parvati and ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME Parvati wins.
This entire season has been for nothing. Nothing.
A Survivor haiku after the jump.
Survivor women
perform the Jedi mind trick!
Alas, poor Erik.
I can't stand her, but the look on her face was priceless.
Previously on Survivor, the Black Widows destroyed Ozzy and then they ate and spit out Jason. Natalie flossed her teeth with his bones. Why are they portraying these women as if they're insane animals? Okay, don't answer that.
We open up with James being tended to by the medics. We see his swollen gross finger and they tell him he could be looking at joint damage if the swelling doesn't go down overnight. If there's no improvement, he'll need immediate surgery. Maybe he and Penner could share a room. He goes back to camp and tells everyone what's going on. Amanda completely falls apart, all, "Oh my god, James." Meanwhile, it turns out Alexis fell in the night and really messed up her knee. Cirie tells us that both injuries are serious, but hey, that means two more people going before her. Heh. That girl never stops playing.
The Reward Challenge is the traditional family visit, and of course everyone starts crying. Eric's brother is proud that Eric can grow a beard, and Eric excitedly points out Jeff Probst and Jeff calls him a freak. Takes one to know one, mister. Amanda's sister compliments her on smelling better than last time. And it's great to see Cirie's husband again! He brings her a flower. Cute. During the challenge, we learn that Parvati talks too much, nobody wants to have dinner with James, and Amanda totally cannot deal with statues getting smashed. Cirie ends up choosing the winner -- Alexis. Alexis in turn picks Cirie, Natalie and their family members to go on the reward with her. Amanda asks Alexis to send her to Exile Island, and she does.
The medics come to check James' finger, which is still gross. Jeff shows up to watch, which probably isn't good news. And it's not. The medics pull him from the game. Bummer. Now -- Penner said in an interview that if the medics had treated his wound correctly (by NOT stitching up a puncture wound), it probably wouldn't have gotten to the point it did (an extended hospital stay). You've got to wonder -- were the medics this season sub-standard, or were people just ignoring or not recognizing that their injuries needed treatment? Anyway, James and Probst walk over to camp to say goodbye to everyone. Which, since everyone is either at Reward or Exile Island, is only Parvati and Erik, two people James couldn't give a shit about at this point.
Our reward challenge winners hike over to their reward, a dip in something called Jelly Fish Pool, an area in the water full of non-stinging jellyfish. It is truly stunning. Alexis has obvious trouble walking, oh dear. Cirie tells us she feels transformed after swimming with the jellyfish. So cool.
Meanwhile, on Exile Island, Amanda searches for the idol. Production makes it a bit harder to find this time, and after a lot of digging in the sand, Amanda finds out that the idol is actually hidden back at camp. O SNAP. When everyone returns from the Reward Challenge, they're stunned to find out that James is gone. Alexis frets that she might be next. Which is a valid fear, as Parvati says, "So, you don't want us to vote you out?" Nice, Parv.
Immunity Challenge! Guns! Sake bottles! Trigger fingers! Erik wins immunity, which is the one thing the girls didn't want happening. D'oh! Time for the girls to start cannibalizing each other. Amanda shows everyone that she doesn't have the HII by emptying out her bag, but she does lie about not knowing the last clue. Later, she takes Parvati aside and tells her that the HII is at camp and she'll need her help in finding it. Elsewhere, Erik and Alexis talk about voting out Amanda. And then Erik tells Amanda he's probably going to vote for her, which obviously doesn't sit well with Amanda. He also tells Cirie, and Cirie agrees to vote the same way. She talks to Amanda, who begs her to take the vote to a tie, which would be idiotic. Grasping at straws, I guess. While everyone eats dinner, Amanda feverishly looks for the idol.
And then we're off to Tribal Council! James comes to the jury box with an IV bag, and Amanda starts to cry. Awww. She tells Jeff she couldn't find the HII on Exile Island and she just looks so beaten down. If she actually found the idol, she's putting on quite a show. She argues with Erik about loyalty and her lip starts quivering, while Alexis brags about what a great person she is for being honest and telling Amanda that they're voting her out. Parvati and Amanda sadly clutch each other's hands as tears brim in Amanda's eyes.
Voting. Probst asks if anyone has the idol, and after a huge pause, Amanda casually says, "Oh, about that..." OH MY FUCKING GOD, Amanda has the Immunity Idol! The jury goes crazy. Alexis and Natalie go into a complete panic. THE EMMY GOES TO AMANDA! And Alexis is voted out, with only two votes. Amanda flashes a huge smile at the jury, and they all grin back.
You know, as awesome as that was, there's no way the others are going to keep Amanda around after seeing the jury rejoice like that. And I bet Cirie is already formulating a plan.
In honor of last night's Survivor, a special guest haiku from reader Susie's son:
Jason is so dumb!
I'm glad he got voted off.
Great job, Natalie!
I was just telling the geekboy that every time Survivor starts, I get excited because I think I'm going to see Jonathan Penner. Seriously, didn't he go home like a month ago? Yet every week, it's a fresh new wound to my heart. Anyhoo.
We return to camp after Tribal Council and everyone is all up in Jason's grill about the fake idol. Ozzy admits he put the fake one there when he found the real one. Cirie interviews that, during Tribal Council, when she had that brief moment of thinking Ozzy would be voted out? It wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Well, well, well.
At camp in the morning, everyone sits and stares, as they do every morning, it seems. Jason is still patting himself on the back for beating Ozzy for immunity the previous day and actually calls himself "godlike." Oh, Jason, you sad little douchebag.
Reward Challenge! The tribe breaks up into two teams, and it's the same challenge as always - run swim solve puzzle. Jason, Ozzy, Eric and Amanda win the reward. Oh, and Cirie is sent to Exile Island because she didn't get picked during team selection. Waaa waaa. The winning team gets to fly to some tiny Micronesian island for an overnight trip. They're greeted by locals who take them into the village for a feast. These rewards always look so amazing and inspirational to me. Although for all I know, it's a set and those are interns dressed up in palm fronds. Also of note? Eric has never seen boobies before. Ozzy talks to us about Eric's innocence. As if Ozzy is some old man who has lived an entire lifetime. Then again, Ozzy has been around [link nsfw]. Later, Eric gets all crazed on beer and betelnut and starts hurling, moaning, "arrrrggg, betelnut," which makes me totally giggle.
Over at Exile Island, Cirie sits in a cave while it pours rain and her fire goes out. Ugh. Nightmare. At least she's got the cameraman there to make sure she doesn't die. She tells us that she needs to get rid of Ozzy and his idol. It's really never a good idea to put Cirie anywhere where she has time to start formulating plans.
Back at camp, James starts chopping firewood while everyone is sleeping. Like, right next to them. Looks like someone's got a case of the Mondays! Parvati tells him he's being obnoxious and he complains to the camera about how he's doing all the work and how dare she open her mouth and complain to him when he's helping out around camp and nobody else is and somebody call the whaaaaaambulance.
The other four return from their reward trip and Ozzy tells everyone about all the food they stuffed their faces with. James looks like he wants to put him on a spit and roast him. Parvati starts chewing on her own lips. Nice work, there, Ozzy. Parvati complains to Alexis or Natalie or whatever her name is that Ozzy didn't have to brag so much. Meanwhile, James and Amanda talk about Parvati and how they don't really trust her anymore. DUH, Miss "Hot Pickle." Jason and Eric chat on the sand and Jason makes it sound like the immunity challenge will really be a two-person contest - him and Ozzy. Oh Jason, you sad little douchebag.
The immunity challenge is an endurance one. They must stand on a log with their hand over their head; the hand is tethered to a bucket. When the arm drops and the bucket tips, you're out. It starts, Jeff comes out with some candy and Cirie and Eric immediately quit. WHAT? FOR CANDY? Eric just spent an entire night eating a feast. James yells, "What in the nickelodeon is going on here?" and I crack up.
Jeff comes out with another plate and Alexis gets so excited she drops her arm and loses. Without getting any food. She is PISSED. Then Natalie dumps her bucket, saying she was going to pass out. It looks like she was, yikes. What is with these people? James says everyone sucks, and then he dumps his!! Parvati, Ozzy, Jason and Amanda are the only ones left. This is hilarious. The next food item is donuts and Ozzy immediately dumps his buckets. Cirie smiles, and it looks like Ozzy's going to lose an idol tonight. Amanda drops out because she has to pee. Although, with the way she runs into the jungle, methinks not so much pee as something else.
Jeff brings out an entire platter of junk food and tells the remaining two that if one of them steps down, the rest of the group can share the food. Jason tells the tribe he wants everyone to guarantee they will not vote him out. Cirie and Alexis guarantee with their fingers crossed. Seriously? You really think that makes it okay to lie? Like Maggie said to me earlier, if you're going to lie, then just own it. Lie and say, "I lied." Not, "I had my fingers crossed!" What are we, five? Everyone else guarantees as well, and Jason drops out. Oh man. Not like I care; he kind of sucks anyway. So Parvati wins immunity, yawn.
Back at camp, Jason tells us they stood up there for six and a half hours. WHOA. I had no idea. The show made it seem so fast! He frets a bit about making the decision to step down. He walks to the water and the rest of the tribe all agree they're going to vote him out anyway. Ozzy keeps talking about how hard they just outwitted Jason and how he fell for the oldest trick in the book. Cirie says what I'm thinking - hey, now might be a good time to get rid of Ozzy. She tells Jason, Parvati, Natalie and Alexis to vote for Ozzy and KEEP IT SECRET so he doesn't think to use his idol. OMG. I love a good blindside. Especially when it's someone who could save himself and doesn't, JAMES. Speaking of James,he keeps talking about Parvati and her "girl power" and I wish he would stop it.
Tribal Council! Jeff points out that everyone knows Ozzy has the idol. Ozzy's all, "Well, yeah." Jeff asks Jason if he thinks he made the wrong decision by stepping down at the challenge. Jason says, "Yeah, maybe," and Ozzy starts laughing at him and now I really want him voted out. James starts babbling about donuts. Jeff starts trying to tell Ozzy in code that he should probably play his immunity idol. Oh my god, shut up, Jeff. When Jason writes down Ozzy's name on the parchment, he draws a little sad face. I'm sure Ozzy totally appreciates it. James writes down Jason's name, saying, "I thought I was the dumbest Survivor ever." Not so fast, James.
Jeff collects the votes and asks if anyone wants to play the idol. And OZZY DOESN'T DO IT. Cirie and Jason can barely control their glee. OMG. This is spectacular. As Jeff reads the votes, Ozzy, James and Amanda start to look sick. Eliza is literally GAPING in the jury box.
AND OZZY IS VOTED OUT. Jason is broadly smiling, Amanda is having a silent nervous breakdown, and Eliza is going apeshit in the jury box. Jeff starts sobbing and he and Ozzy share a passionate embrace. Just kidding about that last part.
Ozzy's goodbye speech? "I'm an idiot."
I don't have time for a full recap today, so my thoughts after the jump.
I really enjoyed Eliza this week and was kind of sorry to see her go. She admitted that she knows people find her annoying. Her absolute disbelief at Jason's fake immunity idol was a pleasure to behold, and I loved that she played it anyway in order to let everyone know that Ozzy's got the real one. I imagine he'll be forced to play it next week if he doesn't have the immunity necklace.
Amanda's total annoyance at Parvati putting her in an alliance with Alexis and Natalie was also fun to watch. As was Parvarti's, "I'm in a hot pickle!" The hell?
Also, Alexis and Ozzy? What?
GO ERIK! Not only were you last fan standing on your tribe, you also got everyone to name the new tribe after a nonsense word. Erik for the win! Just stop being Ozzy's monkey.
Jason, watch your back.
[Please let me know if there are any typos or mistakes. I just got back from vacation and I'm so tie-tie. -- freakgirl]
Previously on Survivor, there were quitting quitters and Ozzy & Erik were in luv.
Malakal returns to camp after Tribal Council, and Erik tells us he's the last Fan left on his tribe and is pretty sure he'll be next to go. Ozzy complains about being called the "leader" of the tribe. Yadda. If the shoe fits, Jungle Boy.
Cirie and Ami wander around in some "Blair Witch"-style black and white footage with crazy camera angles. It's really freaky but it turns out they're hunting crabs. That really was one of the weirdest scenes ever on this show. They catch a great breakfast. As he chops coconuts, Ozzy continues complaining about being seen as a leader. He realizes that people will be gunning to vote him off as the tribes get closer to a merge. Duh. Ami reassures him that she's on his side. I imagine that Ami probably is not on his side. Ozzy seems distrustful as well.
Over at Airai, Eliza is skinny. Everyone is talking about food, so they decide to kill and eat a rat. Jason is really excited about it! They hang the tiny rat from a tree as if it's a wild boar. Too funny. James and Pavarti complain about how much they hate their island. James' head is covered in sand. Pavarti decides to cut a deal with Alexis and Natalie to go to the Final Four, along with Amanda, after the merge. As much as I dislike her, I do respect that she's not all, "I WON'T VOTE OFF MY BOYFRIEND" and crap.
Both tribes find tree mail telling them that before the immunity challenge, they need to choose one person from the opposite tribe to sit out. The person who sits out will be sent to Exile Island and will receive immunity. Sneaky! Airai selects Ozzy to sit out and Malakal selects Alexis. The two leave. Jason sasses Jeff and then Jeff gets all prissy and bitchy. Oh Jeff. We're sorry Julie dumped you. The challenge is running across balance beams and crap while collecting flags. And the winners will get immunity as well as pizza and beer. Good times! Although Eric does great at the challenge, he takes a digger, Amanda is a bit slow, and Airai wins immunity. And pizza. And beer. Thank goodness, Eliza looks so hungry.
Airai returns from their challenge and Jason tells us he feels like the MVP. And that even though he doesn't need it, he's glad he has the hidden immunity idol. Wow, he really does think he has it? Really? Oy. Their pizzas are delivered along with some beer. James opens the bottles with his teeth, just like my cousin Scott did at Easter. Jason also tries, albeit unsuccessfully. Over at Exile Island, Ozzy pretends to hunt for the immunity idol along with Alexis. He's mostly curious to see if anyone took the fake idol he made. And he sees that someone did. He wickedly laughs and rubs his hands together at the camera. Hee!
At camp before Tribal Council, Erik sees the writing on the wall and starts fighting for his life. He tells Cirie and Amanda that Ami has been scheming with other people behind their backs. They point out to him that after the merge, he'll just go back to his old tribe. He rightly points out that Ami is going to do the same thing. Ami wanders onto the beach and overhears Erik talking. Ruh roh! After he walks away, Ami tries to do some damage control with Cirie and Amanda. Um, I really like Amanda's bangs. After a chat, Ami and the other girls hug and coo and Ami turns into that bitch I just KNEW was still in there somewhere and goes to Erik and "thanks" him for bringing her closer to her tribemates.
Erik waits for Ozzy to return from Exile Island like a little puppy and tries his "Do you trust Ami" talk with him. It seems to actually work on Ozzy, once Erik tells him that Ami tried to get rid of him. Hell hath no fury like an Ozzy scorned.
Tribal Council. Jeff calls them all losers and points out to Erik that his ass is likely grass. Erik's hair is FABULOUS, by the way. I couldn't get a feather that good in 1985 with a circular brush, hairdryer and AquaNet. Ozzy starts talking about how you can't trust people playing both sides, and Ami immediately begins to cry, knowing that Ozzy is talking about her. She starts weeping about how everyone always leaves her out and somebody call the WAAAA-MBULANCE! Jeff is delighted by this drama. As am I, Jeff. As am I. Ami makes a tearful speech about how badly she wants to keep playing this game. Her nose is running, tears are streaming...she should be on Big Brother.
Man, I really want Erik to win this one. I didn't realize how much I'm pulling for his bony ass until tonight. When he writes down Ami's name on his parchment, he does so in calligraphy. Is there anything he can't do?
And holy crap, Ami is voted out! Go Erik, you did it! I imagine that Ami was told beforehand she was going, hence the tears. Wow. Great episode!
And then the previews give away practically the entire next show.
On this week's episode of Ozzy: Micronesia, we see a lot of Ozzy ozzying around the ozzy as he ozzies ozzily up and down the ozzy tree ...
Which is to say, we are pretty much hit over the head with the Ozzy stick this week. Ozzy and Tracy fight over whether or not to choke the chickens. Ozzy teaches his young disciple Erik how to get coconuts. Ozzy talks Cirie into going out on the boat, and for a moment, I'm reminded of the Sopranos ("Is he going to feed her to the clams?"). Cirie talks about Ozzy, then talks about Ozzy some more, and follows it up with an Ozzy chaser.
Right! No left! No ... my leg ... MY LEGGG!!!
The reward challenge involves rolling a giant "money stone" around while blindfolded, then putting a puzzle together. The reward is some HERBAL ESSENCE crap, with snacks and showers, and despite Cirie not knowing her right from left, Malakal manages to win. Ozzy decides to send Jason and Tracy to Exile Island, giving Tracy a quick "take one for the team" speech, and the tribe of course goes along with him. At the spa reward, the first word out of Erik's mouth is "COOKIES!!!", and while he's munching on those, Ozzy enjoys a boob sandwich in the shower with both Amanda and Ami.
COOKIES!!!
Meanwhile, over at Airai, it rains for so long that Kathy has a complete mental breakdown. She cries about eating raw clams, cries about the bats and rats and bugs in the cave, and either her lack of sleep or her unrequited love for Penner finally does her in. She starts sobbing about not being able to "feel her family," insists that she "can't take it one more minute," says she doesn't want "anybody to think I'm quitting" ... and then, after some hugs and tears, quits. Cut to the next scene, where Alexis is babbling about something, and I notice at the bottom of the screen that she's described as a "Motivational Speaker". Um. Not so much, I guess? Always Mr. Tactful, Jeff points out to them (quite aptly), "The Airai tribe is down to 6, in spite of winning challenges."
Over at Malakal, Cirie continues her Ozzy Crusade, trying to poison Amanda against him, getting her to agree that he's a bit arrogant. "Ozzy is about Ozzy!" They talk about how much Erik worships Ozzy, and to this, Cirie says, "Shut up, Erik!"
Over at Exile Island ... um ... apparently nothing happens. Presumably because Ozzy's not there.
The immunity challenge involves a winch, a bridge, and a puzzle. Ozzy warps the fabric of time and space, and somehow manages to both turn the winch and be pulled by it at the same time. But it's not enough. Eliza has some mad puzzle solving skills, yo! And for the third straight week, Airai wins immunity.
Watching Ozzy: "I think my uterus just exploded."
At the Malakal camp, as predicted by Cirie, Ozzy wants to keep Eric in the game. Ami and Tracy waste our time talking about some ingenious plan to blindside Ozzy. But we've been here before (last week), and it's hard to take it seriously.
At tribal council, Ozzy denies being the leader of the tribe ... and nobody laughs. Then he tells everybody they should keep him around because he'll take ONE of them to the end with him ... and nobody rolls their eyes. Tracy basically tells everybody, "Keep me in the game because I'm weak." Ozzy is so confident, he doesn't even bother to use the idol, and in the end, his teflon coating does not fail him -- Tracy is voted out, unanimously.
Survivor is on at 8:00pm tonight (one day early) and Big Brother follows immediately at 9:00pm.
Survivor is on at 8:00pm tonight (one day early) and Big Brother follows immediately at 9:00pm.
On the latest Survivor - Immunity Idols, medical issues, and if you saw any of the previews during the week, there's really no point in watching.
We had company last night and I was too busy eating pizza to take copious notes, so this recap will be short. Just as well, as I don't know that I could bring myself to do a full recap of a show so fraught with tragedy. Because this week my most favorite Survivor - Jonathan Penner - was removed from the show. The medics determined the infection in his leg was too advanced and advised him to get surgery, as Probst crouched next to him and held his hand. Well, he didn't hold Penner's hand, but you know he wanted to.
Goodbye, Johnny Blue Eyes! See you at the Reunion!
In other news, Airai wins the Reward Challenge, where the tribe is given two native Micronesians to teach them how to catch crabs (just sleep with Pavarti, ZING!) and fish and all that good stuff. They send Chet to Exile Island and Jason goes along with him. Chet prefers to sit in the water and pick at a blister on his heel rather than search for the Immunity Idol; Jason searches anyway and finds Ozzy's replacement. He quickly determines it to be fake, though, and actually calls out Ozzy before the Immunity Challenge. Ozzy doesn't deny having it but doesn't deny not having it, either.
[The commenters have pointed out that they strongly believe Jason claiming that Ozzy has the Immunity Idol was to simply throw people off, and that Jason thinks he has the real one. I guess we'll see! I just figured that since these people are SuperFans, they would recognize a fake when they saw one, especially after Yau-Man. But who knows?]
The Immunity Challenge is directly lifted from a previous episode (although I can't remember which), and Airai wins handily, in no part due to a genius strategy that allows them to basically circumvent the rules. Nice work. Malakal returns to camp, and Chet asks that they vote him out, because of the infection in his heel. Oh, Chet. You look like such a pussy. Penner was gimping around with a knee swollen up like a baseball, CHEATING DEATH, and you are all, "Ow. My heel."
Tracy and Erik come up with a fantastic plan to blindside Ozzy and vote him out. However, they need Chet to go along with this plan. At Tribal Council, Jeff all but flat-out tells Ozzy that the other tribe members are conspiring against him. Shut up, Probst. However, it's for naught, as the plan doesn't go down and Chet is voted out as requested.
What was up for Tracy and Chet voting for Erik, though???
Welcome to another week of Survivor! (There were no good screencaps to be had on the CBS site this week, so no photos. Sorry. Not like you wanted to see someone's open nasty puncture wound being stitched up, anyway, right?) We open at the Fans' camp, where everyone is subdued after Tribal Council. Jason is still pissed that Mikey B was voted out instead of Chet. Although Chet doesn't seem to give a rat either way, as the next morning he simply sits on a log and stares into space. Over at Favorites, they're going to kill a chicken. But it looks like they're killing a rooster? I don't understand. Charlie the Chicken is killed, and the girls mourn him. Tip: Don't name your food. Meanwhile, during the chicken fracas, Ozzy hides his idol, informs us he doesn't trust anyone, then tells James and then tells Amanda and then tells Parvati that he found it. Arrrrggggh.
Later on, Jeff pulls the tribes together for a meeting, tells them to drop their buffs and breaks the news that they will be mixing up the tribes. Ozzy mouths, "FUCK." Well, Ozzy, you are expected to expect the unexpected! Oh, sorry, wrong show. The two captains are Ozzy and Natalie, and they start picking teams, schoolyard-style. Our new teams:
Airai: Natalie, James, Alexis, Jonathan, Jason, Parvati, Kathy, Eliza
Malakal: Ozzy, Joel, Amanda, Eric, Ami, Traci, Cirie, Chet
Parvati is pissed that Jason didn't pronounce her name correctly. Oh, shut up.
The first challenge begins immediately. Two members of each tribe will be tethered together on a rather short rope, and they will have to chase another pair through an obstacle course in the jungle and grab a flag off the other team's back. This seems like it's going to end badly. Jeff tells them the prize is barbecue fixins and, in the spirit of friendship, there will be no Exile Island. This challenge is brutal. People are getting really hurt. Joel dragging Chet around the course is particularly awful to watch. At one point, Chet hits his head so hard that there's no way he can recover and keep running and Joel is furious. Well, you certainly had your chance to vote him out last week, didn't you? Too bad, so sad. Airai wins.
Malakal limps back to camp, and Ozzy shows everyone around their humble abode. Joel is extremely angry that they lost and admits to the camera that it was probably a mistake to get rid of Mikey B, but is glad Chet's here for the moment so they can get rid of him this week. Erik is completely starstruck, and the new Fans are very pleased that the camp is nicer than their old one.
Over at Airai, Kathy shows the new Favorites around, and they are suitably horrified by the conditions there. Seriously, their firepit is inches from the ocean. And guess what, the tide comes in and washes away the fire that's cooking their feast. James tells us he's amazed these people are even alive, living like this. Me too. Meanwhile, Penner shows us his knee, which was severely punctured during the challenge. It looks horrifying and the medics show up later that night to tend to his injury. They're injecting things into his knee and poor Penner is in tremendous pain and it's okay, Blue Eyes, I will kiss it and make it better. We get way too much camera time on his wound being stitched up, and he tells us they just need to wait and make sure it doesn't get infected. Ugga.
In the morning at Malakal, Erik camera drools to us about The Awesomeness of Ozzy; I think he might be in love. Out on the boat, Erik, Joel and Ozzy talk about who to vote out. Joel tells Ozzy if they dump Cirie first, then they can vote out Chet. REALLY, JOEL? Because this worked out so well for you last time? Or, how about, you know, WINNING A CHALLENGE and not have to worry about getting rid of anyone.
At Airai, Penner the Gimp takes charge and leads the tribe in building a new shelter in a better spot. Inspirational music plays and Alexis can't believe how awesome the Favorites are. All they needed here was a montage and it would have been perfect. At Malakal, Amanda catches a shark in a net and everyone is totally wowed. Ozzy is incredibly turned on.
Time for the Immunity Challenge. It's throwing a rock at a target and collecting puzzle pieces and then assembling a puzzle. I'm glad it's not something physical because these people are tore up. Penner is totally pissed because his team's tiles aren't breaking right and he's screaming hilariously, "MY ASS!" and Jeff tells him to stop bitching and start throwing. Oh, you two, just make out already. And...Airai wins immunity, with Eliza solving the puzzle.
Malakal comes back to camp, dejected, again. Joel and Jason talk about voting out Chet and just giving up on the whole Fans vs. Favorites thing. We're also forced to sit through Joel talking shit about Chet and I really dislike all of this. I mean, can they humiliate the guy any more? Erik asks Amanda and Cirie if they should get rid of Chet. Cirie is no dummy and realizes that she'll be voted out after Chet, so she goes and talks to Tracy and Chet and they decide they should vote out Joel instead. Oh, man. Cirie puts her scheming hat on and goes and points out to Amanda and Ozzy that Joel was worthless in the immunity challenge and they should get rid of him. Man, is Mikey B going to laugh his balls off if Joel comes strolling into Loser Lodge.
Tribal Council. Jeff once again starts harassing Chet. Let's just skip to the good stuff. The votes go thusly: Joel, Chet, Chet, Joel, Joel, Joel, and Joel.
Joel is like O SNAP and Cirie is like HEH HEH and Erik is like O CRAP and Probst is like YOU WEAKLINGS. And I'm all, "Enjoy your million dollars, Chet!"
Our latest Survivor opens the morning after tribal council over at the Favorites camp. Cirie is angry over Ami being the sole vote against her. I'm still not sure why Ami did vote against Cirie, other than the fact that she was very confused. Penner is angrily cracking coconuts and and he and Cirie start to get into it next. Cirie tells us that he's just mad because he didn't get his way. She's not wrong.
Over at Fans, they're discussing who probably got voted out. They decide it was either Eliza or Yau-Man. Which is pretty good, considering that's who it was down to. They prepare for a breakfast of eel, yuck. Natalie tells us that she doesn't think Chet is pulling his weight and, indeed, we see him sitting in the water as everyone else works around camp. They point out that he's miserable there and he's just a liability at this point.
Favorites. Eliza is on the beach feeling sick and James tells her to suck it up. How nice. If it were Pavarti he'd probably build her a bamboo hospital. James and Ozzy realize that keeping Eliza around was a huge mistake, as was letting Cirie boss them around. They start giving Eliza a hard time about being sick, as if she got sick on purpose. James and Ozzy are being real dicks and it's making me sad. Power corrupts, people. Eliza tells us she hates them and hope they get sick enough to have to leave the game. Overreact much?
Who's got two thumbs and a rotten attitude? THIS GUY!
Time for the Reward Challenge. Swim, Dive, Put Coconuts in Bin, Swim Bin to Shore, Complete Puzzle. The prize? A couple hens, a rooster and some eggs. What a kick ass prize. Eggs are the best. I'm on an egg kick right now, if you care. I'm sure the Favorites will win this, since they have Ozzy and he is a fish as well as a monkey. And yes, Ozzy comes up with a brilliant strategy for the challenge and they easily win. MVP! And eggs! They decide to send Kathy to Exile Island again, and they send Ozzy along with her. I don't understand how the Favorites decide who to send to Exile Island or why? Anyone have any idea?
No, it's okay - I just need another hour down here and we'll be all set.
The Fans return to their camp, sadly, realizing they haven't won a single reward challenge. They talk about how ridiculously good Ozzy is and how lucky Kathy is to be going to Exile Island with him. Erik tells us Kathy is so pathetic that she probably isn't even looking for the Immunity Idol. Guess what? She's not. At Exile Island, Ozzy teaches her some survival skills. And she tells us that she's not interested in looking for the idol. Loser. Ozzy tells her he's off to look for food, but you know he's going to look for the idol. And he does. And you know he's going to find it. And he freaking does. HILARIOUS. Kathy could have easily found it. He comes back to camp with the idol hidden in his hat and Kathy is oblivious. He THEN takes a page from Yau Man's book and starts making a FAKE immunity idol. He hides it exactly where he found the real one. You guys. Awesome. Awesome when Yau did it and still awesome today.
Back at Favorites, the rooster wakes everyone up. Eliza and Pavarti talk, and Eliza basically begs Pavarti not to vote her out. She decides to sell out Penner instead, who unbeknownst to her, is RIGHT BEHIND HER LISTENING. Love him. He tells us how pathetic she is, and boy is he pissed. Do not cross the Penner. Pavarti tells us that Eliza just needs to do whatever she can to save herself, because she'll probably be going home if they don't win.
Don't make me use this.
This week's immunity challenge involves locks and keys and moving big metal hubs around and collecting necklaces and putting them on a decoding wheel. Say what? I can't describe it. Trust me, it's weird. But the Favorites kick the Fans' asses. It's not even close. Awww, poor Fans.
Back at camp, everyone is super bummed. Mike is worried that Joel is going to come after him again, so he decides they should work together to vote out Chet. Joel wants Kathy out. Tracy and Kathy try to get Chet worked up and act more positive...she is afraid that she will be voted out right after Chet and Kathy, and believes that Chet and Kathy have basically given up. I agree with her. Tracy asks Joel who they should vote out, and he says that Mike wants to vote out either Chet or Kathy. She starts freaking out over why Joel is taking direction from Mike. She wants to know what happened to Joel's plan to get rid of Mike. I think it's kind of stupid to vote out one of the stronger men at this point, when they're losing all the time.
HA HA! We hate it here!
At Tribal Council, Jeff shits all over Chet yet again for being useless around camp. Not sure why Jeff hates him so much, but he does, doesn't he?
Not for nothing, but can't you just picture Erik on an album cover wearing a puka shell necklace?
Da do ron ron ron, da do ron ron!
Also, Joel looks considerably less scary this week and I can't figure out why.
Anyhoo, Jeff reads the votes: Chet, Chet, Mike, Mike, Chet, Mike, Mike, and it's MIKEY B! Holy shit. I'm shocked. Joel listened to Tracy. No wonder Jason pitched such a fit right before the vote - he knew how it was going to go. Oh man. It should have been Chet. Jason is so pissed, and Joel looks like a kid caught in the cookie jar.
We'll see how this works out for everyone next week.
This week's Survivor made me mad. MAD.
The show starts back at the Fans camp and Mikey B is telling us that he knows it was Joel who "stuck the knife in his back." He tells Joel that the team he put together is going to lose. He calls Chet a girl, which is really obnoxious. He spends a bit of time trying to convince Joel he made a losing decision. Joel tells us something about wanting him to get hit with the baseball bat of reality. Settle down there, Animal.
Favorites. Eliza is hanging out on the beach with the couples, and she's all happy to feel included, but in reality the couples just want to make sure Eliza votes with them. She plays along but tattles to her alliance. Around this time everyone realizes that they don't completely know where Cirie's alliances lie.
Time for the Reward Challenge. They get to pick three rewards from a "comfort catalogue." The tribes are given warpaint and everyone knows it's going to be the scary wrestling challenge. You guys, the Fans are not joking around with their warpaint. They look like they're dressed for Halloween. One guy looks like the Misfits. Joel tells us he's going "to kill someone." I believe him. In a nutshell, the tribes are in a modified football field (in ankle- to knee-high water) and have to get five canvas bags into their end zone.
Pile on the Pen-Man!
It starts and the tribes charge each other. It's pretty much mayhem. Some people are just standing around, I notice. Oooooh, Penner's pants are falling down! Yum. It's about time we see ass other than Amanda's. Penner and his blurred ass score the winning goal! Rock on, old man! The Favorites send Kathy (again) to Exile Island and they send their own Ami. Hey, now Kathy will know two gay people! How exciting for her.
The Favorites are back at camp, laughing about the challenge, but Cirie is nervous and can't quite relax. She watches everyone carefully and tries to figure out her best move. She's actually a little upset that the rest of the tribe aren't kissing her ass more. I hope she's joking about that. I think she is, especially when she says that the others should be making her a chariot. Heh. However, later on I'll realize she wasn't really joking. She talks to Pavarti and Amanda and says that she's concerned about them pairing up with James and Ozzy. The girls say that they know they will have to vote out the boys eventually because they can't win against them. Back onshore, Eliza is freaking out that Cirie is hanging out with the enemy.
Over on Exile Island, Ami is reading the clues and Kathy is about to die because she doesn't want to go island-hopping again. I guess she doesn't want to share any clue information with Ami, which is probably smart? I don't know. A huge storm hits that night and the Fans find out that their shelter sucks ass. They are miserable and wet and sad. The Favorites, of course, have the tarp they won and are all quite snug. Ozzy says he feels pretty bad for the Fans...I kind of do, too. In the morning, everyone is completely destroyed. Joel is lying in the rowboat looking like he's been hit by a truck. Everyone's skin is pruned and they're all shivering. People, build a fire!
Time for the Immunity Challenge! Today's challenge involves holding onto ropes that hold up a net, and the other team throws coconuts into the net until it becomes too heavy to hold up anymore. These people suck at throwing coconuts - the nets are pretty high up. Once they get the hang of it, though, it's not so bad. Penner is talking tons of trash, calling Jason "Squirrely Boy," (?) and Jeff is delighted. As am I. I'm sorry, but Penner gets hotter every week. However, the Favorites are starting to struggle and drop their net. D'oh! Fans win Immunity!
Cirie needs to make a decision...I hope she takes a side and takes it soon. Penner and his hat talk about voting out Pavarti. Fine by me. Yau Man agrees. James tells Pavarti he won't let that happen. The younger alliance talks about voting out Yau Man and then I hear Cirie mention voting out Penner and OH NO GIRL YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT. Don't make me hate you. Why would she align with the younger alliance, who will ditch her as soon as they get a chance? Penner is begging Cirie to vote out Pavarti along with them, that his alliance will take her longer in the game. Cirie tells him that both alliances are promising her the same thing. Penner is getting progressively more upset and Cirie is getting progressively more annoying, saying things like, "How far did YOU get in the game?" Their argument has attracted Ozzy and Amanda and I think at this point they should all band together and vote out Cirie. Penner and Ozzy try to come to an agreement about who to vote out. Ozzy wants to vote out Eliza and Penner thinks it should be Pavarti. Now nobody knows who to vote for. I'm fascinated that all these conversations seem to be going on out in the open.
The couples call over Cirie and ask her to vote with them and vote out Eliza. She is visibly annoyed and wants to vote out Yau Man and says she will not change her vote. See? Vote her out. Like every swing vote before her in this game, she is drunk with power. Penner, Eliza, Yau Man and Ami have decided to stick together and vote for Pavarti. Penner knows the rest of the tribe is split, and he hopes they stay split. Would they be that stupid? I doubt it.
Tribal Council. James says that the Fans have earned his respect and they are hungry to win and he doesn't like it. Duh. Cirie and Penner get into it and things start getting ugly. I forgot that Penner tends to get overly aggressive and alienate people. Shut up, Blue Eyes. SHUT UP! The two of them are all, "You said" and "You told me" and "I don't trust you" and Jeff is just sitting there with a shit-eating grin on his face. Voting begins. Ugh, I am so tense. Although honestly, Eliza or Pavarti - who cares, really?
Good to see Eliza hasn't lost the crazy eyes.
The votes are read: Pavarti, Yau, Yau, Pavarti, Cirie, Yau...are you fucking KIDDING ME...Yau...Yau...and our man Yau is voted out. Seriously? Cirie is extremely pleased with herself. I am really unhappy about this. The trouble with having previous players come back is that you already feel invested in them, even if they haven't done much yet this season. And seeing Yau Man go is just a punch in the gut. I admit that Cirie did make the best decision for herself, and managed to get the couples to vote along with her. I imagine that Cirie knows exactly what she's physically and mentally capable of, and figured that Yau was her closest competition. She used her power to her advantage. Let's see how that works out for her next week, shall we?
Aw. Bye!
Survivor starts out with the Favorites returning to camp, and we see that Ozzy has caught a fish, in the dark, with his bare hands. He is a GOD, people. Nobody misses Fairplay and Ozzy is their hero.
Eliza camera-yaps that she was afraid it would have been her going and not Fairplay. My boyfriend Jonathan says he was sorry to lose Fairplay because he thought he could use him. But he's feeling confident. Which means they'll probably lose their next challenge.
Over at the Fan camp, people are trying to get organized. Everyone is talking at the same time, which is really helpful. They still have no water, so they start a fire with their flint. Or attempt to start one. They don't know how to use the flint. Seriously. How many times can we say this? LEARN HOW TO DO IT BEFORE YOU COME ON THE SHOW. They gave you a flint! And they've nearly destroyed it. Everyone starts fighting over who's doing what...ah, rookies. Jason, who apparently has turned feral, has cleared out an area in a small cave and tells a few of the others that they're not allowed to sleep there. Apparently the camp is divided, 7 versus 3. Chet, Tracy and Kathy are the three, and everyone else is the 7. I'm still not clear on everyone's names.
The Favorites are collecting big giant clams and pretty much pigging out. They have a shelter and they're well-rested, which gives Ozzy and Amanda enough time to flirt crazily with each other. Meanwhile, Pavarti is working James within an inch of his life. She's so annoying.
Fans Kathy, Chet and Tracy build a really nice shelter, and the other seven are totally jealous and start kissing ass. A fire is finally started and they catch some big clams and get food in their bellies. Everyone immediately becomes so much happier. Mikey B and Mary are flirting by picking bugs off each other. Charming. Joel tells us that even though they're all getting along now, he wants to keep the alliance of 7 versus 3. Joel kind of looks like Chris Benoit and that kind of scares me.
At Favorites, Amanda and Ozzy are making out in night vision and Cirie is cracking up about it, but knows enough that anyone who pairs off is dangerous. She and Jonathan sit at the fire and fuss about the coupling up. Cirie agrees to team up with Jonathan and the rest of his alliance to try and get rid of the two couples. Yay!
And here we are at the Immunity/Reward challenge. The Fans applaud the removal of Jon Dalton. The only thing I remember about this challenge is that there is someone called the Key Master and all I can hear in my brain is John Cusack screaming at Jeremy Piven, "I HAVE HIDDEN YOUR KEYS." Watching the challenge, it appears that Ozzy can literally walk on water. Skip over lily pads, scamper up walls, catch fish with his hands? As the geekboy remarked, obviously he's Manimal. During the challenge, Amanda switches things up and lets her boob hang out instead of her ass. Yay, variety.
The Favorites win Immunity and Reward (not like they need the fishing gear with Ozzy around). They select Kathy to go to Exile Island. Then, in yet another twist, they find out that someone from the winning team also has to go. Cirie volunteers. I kind of like this twist, because it forces people on opposite teams to bond. Kathy is thrilled to be on Exile Island with Cirie. They find the first clue to the immunity idol and start looking. They find the clue easily and the second clue leads them on a long swim to another island. Where they find a third clue. Which sends them back across to the other island. They're getting so tired. The fourth clue sends them back again. Cirie is about to kill someone. And they can't find it. DAMN.
The Fans return to their camp and try to feel better about losing. A bunch of them talk about getting rid of Chet, as he kind of sucked at the challenge. Mike decides they should split the votes and throw some at Tracy, in case Kathy finds the immunity idol (remember she has one already) and gives it to Chet. Someone asks what if she gives it to Tracy and then everything gets confusing and I have a feeling they're going to get rid of Mike because Joel don't like Smart People.
Kathy and Cirie return to their respective camps. Kathy asks around about what they're going to do at Tribal Council. Joel tells her to vote for Mary. He's walking around whispering to everyone, "I've got a plannnnnn." Oh, shut up. Mike is outlining his fourteen-point plan of voting, using flowcharts and a PowerPoint presentation. Shut up too, Mike. At this point, I'm completely confused and I don't know how a single person is going to vote.
Tribal Council. Jeff calls out Chet for having a hard time during the Challenge. Maybe it's just me, but I thought Jeff was needlessly rude about it. Joel talks about not caring who goes home and that it's a game and that's what happens and, jeez, that's actually kind of refreshing. Voting. I imagine this will be all over the map. As he votes for Chet, Mike tells the camera that he finds Chet "unacceptable." Douche. I'd just like to point out that someone who has a TICKET STUB tattooed on their back has no business calling anyone unacceptable, okay?
Jeff reads the votes. Chet, Chet, Tracy, Mary, Mary, Tracy, Mary, Mary...Mike makes the most hilarious WTF face.
Nice expression. Maybe you could get it tattooed on your back.
And, Mary is voted out. Well played, Joel. Well played. Matt is literally slack-jawed. First blindside of the season. NICE.
Welcome to Survivor: Micronesia: Fans Vs. Favorites. Yes, that's an easy name to both say AND type. Thanks, CBS! I have taken over recapping duties from Maggie this season. I hope I can do her proud. So, let's get started. As the show begins, Jeff Probst introduces us to the tribes - Favorites first. I don't remember anything after Johnny Fairplay claims to be the best player in the history of the game. He is such a douche. You know what? I'm not going to talk about him anymore. His name will not be mentioned again until he's voted out. You're welcome.
The credits roll and we meet all our Survivors. I am never going to remember the names of the Fans - I never do. Give me a few episodes. The Fans are rowed in from the sea and arrive on the beach to meet Jeff. Jeff's dimples are like giant crevices on his face at this point. He unveils the twist - hat they are playing against previous Survivors. The fans are totally psyched. As they are introduced, we get little "best of" montages of each Favorite. I forgot about Ozzy being a monkey. Amy's montage is that she's a lesbian. Nice, CBS. Real nice. My boy Jonathan Penner comes out and I'm glad to see he's remembered to bring his stupid hat. Here comes Eliza, and a big "whatever" to that. Next is James, and the Fans go crazypants. Poverty (nobody knows how to pronounce her name anyway) walks out in her stupid bikini and stupid stupids. Then comes Yau Man and he's so cute and the Fans all jump up and down. Amanda comes out to polite applause. Why do her boobs look so much bigger? And they save that other guy for last and he dances out and he's wearing a dumb hat and it's not cool like Jonathan's and Jeff overly pays attention to him and the fans all giggle and I want to fucking kill myself. Fan Tracy tells us she wants to kick him. And...I like Tracy.
The credits roll and we meet all our Survivors. I am never going to remember the names of the Fans - I never do. Give me a few episodes. The teams get their buffs and we're all hoping this time Amanda will keep her ass covered. Teams are told their boats are across the water at a small island, and also on this island are two immunity idols. They are special and can be used only at the first tribal council. Everyone makes a break for it and searches all over the island, but we see that the idols are actually hanging from the bows of the boats. Burnett, you evil bastard! Yau Man from Favorites and Kathy from Fans each end up with an idol.
The Fans arrive on their beach and introduce themselves to each other. Their flag says they're called Team Airai. They smack-talk the Favorites and someone named Mikey B gives everyone vaguely insulting nicknames. We find out that, this season, Kathy is our token idiot who's never met a gay person before. Luckily our token gay man has a sense of humor. For now. Also, Tracy has the most unbelievable nipples. They could cut glass.
Over on the Favorites beach, Malakal, the Favorites start the process of building a shelter. James is in hog heaven because everyone knows just what to do. He says he wants to hug somebody. Maggie leaps through her television screen to get in line. Poverty and Eliza bond over...having brown hair and big teeth, I guess. Also, Poverty is all over James. No. James is falling for it. NO. Meanwhile, Amanda and Ozzy are hitting it off and I guess I'm okay with that because neither of them make me want to hurt myself. Eliza is all, "blahblahblahyapyapyapyap."
In the middle of the night, the Fans are still trying to build a shelter. HA HA! It's pouring and windy and Kathy is already whining about it. That's not rain, Kathy. That's God crying because you're sitting next to a gay.
Alliances already start forming at Favorites as Eliza, Yau Man, Jonathan and Ami decide to team up against the two couples. Yau Man tries to start a fire with his glasses, using a drop of water as a magnifying glass. And it works! Superstar!!! Everyone enjoys a big seafood lunch, courtesy of Ozzy.
Over at the Fan camp, everyone looks tired and wet and hungry. They receive their first treemail for the first challenge. Teams have to put a wheel puzzle together, put the wheel on a cart, push it through an obstacle, over a plank bridge, take the wheels apart and put them back together to turn a winch that send up fire that will put up a flag. Got all that? The Fans immediately take the lead. Nice. And I realized that I'm rooting for them! Eliza gets her face smashed in when the cart hits a tree root. Ow.
The Fans win! I like it! Puts the Favorites in their place. I feel bad for Cirie, though. She looks sad. And sandy. The Favorites are rightfully humbled and then get to the scheming. Cirie decides to go with the "anyone but me" strategy. Heh. That's how Sandra won, right?
At Tribal Council, Jeff pokes and prods at everyone. After reminding them that Yau Man has immunity, everyone votes. The votes are read, and...THE SEASON IS SAVED. Jon Dalton is voted off.
So happy.
Don't forget, Survivor: Micronesia starts tonight at 8:00pm! I'm simultaneously anticipating and dreading it.
The All-Star cast of Survivor: Micronesia (where one tribe will be returning contestants and one will be new contestants) has been revealed. I don't know if this is all correct, but click here if you'd like to find out.
There's one name I'm really pleased to see, and there's one that already has me banging my head against the wall in rage.