Congratulations to Chris, who won Survivor: Vanuatu last night. I liked this win. I would have liked it if Twila had won, too, but she really blew it the last two episodes. You can't win this game if you don't shove your nose up someone's butt at some point, and Twila just refused to do it. I have no problem with her at all. Her hair, however, is a different story. Anyway, yay Chris for surviving a screw-up in the first episode, avoiding being eaten by the women's alliance and for coming out at the end looking like a decent guy. To win Survivor, you HAVE to lie to SOMEBODY, so I'm not buying into all the "Chris was a big old liar" bullshit. Did you notice "bullshit" seems to be Twila and Scout's favorite word? I just saw them all on The Early Show and Twila busted out a "bullshit" and Julie Chen almost had a conniption. Good times.
I have to say that the Final Tribal Council was one of the most emotional I've ever seen. It was awesome! Between Julie weeping and Eliza screaming at Twila, it was tres entertaining. Kudos, Mark Burnett - this season started off bad and ended up pretty good. EDITED TO ADD: You guys. Probst's now-traditional Delivery of the Votes montage this season was freaking fantastic. I was in hysterics.
When we first started watching this season of Survivor, did anyone in a million years think the Final Four would be Chris "I Lost Us the First Challenge," Eliza "I Can't Stop Talking I Can't Stop Talking," Twila "I'm Not Going To Sit Around and Braid Your Hair," and Scout "I Can't Walk Without Assistance?" Not me, dude. I think it's an interesting final four, and I can think of reasons to justify a win by any of them. Except Scout. Seriously. Are they just keeping her around so they can guarantee a win against her? Because how could ANYONE think she deserves to win? She can't do the physical challenges, and she proved last night that she can't do the mental ones either.
I have to give Julie props for really making an attempt to stay in the game. She's been quiet, but she's not stupid. I guess she shouldn't have ridden Ami's coattails for so long. Also, Twila nearly gave me a heart attack with her insane behavior - I was afraid she would be voted out for sure. I think she has HAD IT with the game, but she really needs to get her head together. Anyway, it's all over on Sunday starting at 8:00pm - who's your pick to win?
I have a house full of company, so my posts today will be short and sweet. All I can say about last night's Survivor is Yes, Yes, Yes. Oh, and, HA HA.
Last night's Survivor was a stunning, stunning departure from the past tedious episodes this season. Finally, the balance of power has shifted. Finally, the underdogs make the correct move. I have to admit that Twila is a lot smarter than I have given her credit for over the past two weeks. I'm wondering if this was her plan all along, but she never felt safe enough to put it into motion. Ami telling Scout flat-out that she wasn't bringing her to the end was enough to get Scout to finally come over and vote against Team Vagina. My only regret is that Ami had immunity, but it seems like Leann was a real power player as well (in terms of deciding who stays and who goes). So, kudos to Chris, Eliza, Twila and even Scout (I still don't like her). I'm rooting for a Chris/Eliza Final Two now, just because it will make Ami die. Greatest moment of the episode - Sarge and Chad laughing at Leann's ouster.
Every single person on Survivor other than Chris can come on over here and kiss my ass. They're all dead to me.
Another episode of Survivor, another chapter of the gender war complete. Feh. I don't think there's a single woman that I'd like to see win. I would be rooting for Eliza right now if she had had the cojones to jump ship and vote off Scout. I liked Sarge and was sorry to see him go. I think he played well and was a decent strategizer; however, he was outwitted. BY A DANG FEMALE! Anyway. The great mystery for me is why on EARTH Chris voted out Sarge. I can't figure out any possible way that makes sense.
Blah. Merge. Yadda. Scout hearts Twila. Scout also cannot even run, apparently. Yet Scout survives. If this were REALLY Survivor, they would have killed and eaten her already. Rory tries to warn them all about Ami and her Breasts of Evil and Destruction (B.E.D.). Ami's BED realize something is afoot and decides that the women will vote out Rory. Twila and Julie are stupid and go along with this. They are stupid because I hate Ami and would take Rory over her any old day. Sarge is jealous of Ami and Julie. Eliza is still annoying, Chad is still hot, and this show is still not really doing it for me.
Our lovely Freakgirl can't be with us today, so Surivivor and The Apprentice will be covered by yours truly this week.
Since we obviously haven't said it enough, Rory, SHUT UP! I am so sick of his constant pontification and always needing to know where he stands. Yes, he's a good shot when he's high on coffee, but personally I would vote him out just to shut him up. SHUT UP! And the strange sound he makes when he cheers is just scary.
Ami is also scary. She's like the Queen of Hearts. Off with his head! The relationship between Rory and Ami is very strange. Either they're best friends or Ami is telling him to watch his step.
Twila, how could you fall for Julie's crap like that? I hope Julie's lie comes out sooner or later and that Twila doesn't lose the alliance she has with Sarge and the other men. Not that I have anything against Julie...her move was pretty clever.
John just makes me mad. What was that bullshit about Chad doing well for a legless guy and flying under the radar? Chad is kicking ass and doing a hell of a lot more than John, leg or no leg. I love that John thinks Twila belongs to the Rough Redneck Loyalists of America, or something. Because the Rough Rednecks are a loyal folk. As opposed to them Smooth Rednecks who'll stab you in the back quick as look at you. Har. And goodbye. And don't forget to buy a Home Cafe.
At least that's the only thing I can figure, since on the latest Survivor she somehow convinced most of the tribe to vote out Lisa, someone who hasn't done a single thing to deserve it. How about Eliza, who couldn't catch a single pig? Or Leann, who couldn't stay underwater for more than three seconds and lost the immunity challenge? Nah, let's vote out Lisa, who made an innocuous comment and Ami lost her mind. Whatever. I don't even know who Lisa was, honestly. And Rory? SHUT UP. You're doing okay with these ladies; STOP IT. Also, you were on the CHOPPING block, not the AUCTION block, dummy. As for the other tribe, I'm just sitting back and enjoying their winning streak. I like seeing Twila smile; she seems at home. I hope she gets to stay awhile. How about Sarge getting all horny over Julie, then saying that "I'd put Twila in a dress and take her to dinner, cause she's a LADY." Okay then.
I need to start out by telling how much I have been DYING to make a "hanging Chad" joke, and I just haven't had an opportunity. It's killing me, people. So, last night was the totally unsurprising tribal mix-up, and I was really hoping that since no one picked Lisa, they would throw her into the volcano. TV would be much more interesting if I were in charge. That Reward Challenge looked hard! We had a friend over last night who's learning to scuba dive, and he said that the survivor's ears were probably ready to explode. Oh, and can we all have a round of applause for Rory? I might be wrong, but I think he is the FIRST black man on Survivor that can swim. I don't intend in any way to sound racist, by the way. It's just that EVERY season, we get a guy on a tribe who gives us the same speech about how black men can't swim. So kudos to Rory for breaking the stereotype, even if he is kind of an ass. Anyway, Lopevi is obviously the team to beat, which was proved last night when Yasur lost and voted off one of their new men, instead of the obvious choice - Ami (the "i" stands for "implants") who doesn't want to teach a man how to open a coconut. Ah well. I would have been pissed at Travis/Bubba too, if I saw him flirting with the other team like that. Lastly - Pringles and beer? Lamest. Reward. Ever. Oh, and p.s. - SO happy for Twila that she's on a team that seems to like her.
So last night on Survivor, the "alliance of elders" continued as they voted off Brady. Who I kinda liked, so no fun for me. But it certainly wasn't a surprise. What was a surprise to me was that John K. voted for his ouster. Janet predicted that he could win it all by slipping through the cracks. I might agree. Kudos to the women for pulling it together and winning two challenges in a row. But Eliza still needs to shut up. Next week: EARTHQUAAAAAAAAKE!
Survivor: Vanuatu also bounced back from a weak start, with a double vote-off that purged the island of a giant bitch, and by "bitch" I mean "Mia." Way to represent Jersey, there. The men's team lost JP, which, well, honestly, whatever. Not caring that much about him. I believe he was annoying me during the first episode. But anyway, Mia and her Eye Rolling of Great Obnoxiousness was voted out, and boy, it felt good to watch some deserving people get booted on reality television.
As for the twist of John (who I keep thinking is Andy from The Apprentice) having to choose who wins immunity on the women's team - that was kind of neat. I liked the way he split them into Dolly/No Dolly sides and let them basically fall to pieces while hissing and spitting at each other. Good times. Oh, and Eliza? Shut up. You too, Rory.
Last night on Survivor: Vanuatu we lost our little sheepherder, Dolly. I was sorry to see her go; I thought she was cute and spunky, and she's hadn't pissed me off too much yet. Alas, our Dolly made the classic blunder (she should have talked to Shii-Ann) - never tell everyone how much power you have because you're a swing vote. Just smile and noncommitally agree with everyone, then vote in the way that helps you out the most. Duh.
I do have to say that I was surprised Scout's name didn't come up in terms of who to vote off, after her HUGE mistake during the competition. And I can't stand the sight of that weaselly Eliza, but kudos to her for somehow removing her name from discussion completely. Over on the guy's side, Rory needs to shut up and I hope I never see Sarge scream like that again. Good episode, but freakgirl still is not feeling the usual Survivor excitement. I dd worship at the altar of Mark Burnett, so I trust this feeling will change.
So, what do we think of Survivor: Vanatu? What an intense way to start such a grueling game, what with the pig sacrifices and the ignoring of the women and the walking in the dark. Good times. Doing the Men vs. Women thing is totally fine with me - I enjoy the weird dynamics that come up when people are separated into gender groups. The women bond, then split off into small groups to gossip, then basically find the weakest person and attack her. The men walk around checking out each other's penis size, then immediately scheme to get rid of the strongest ones. So interesting!
First impressions? Someone do me a favor and go back and look at my following comments in a few weeks after I've probably changed my mind about all of them. Anyway... Brady is some very serious eye candy. Liking Chad so far, only because outside of one mention, his disability is being ignored. Although I cracked up when that one guy was like, "Well now HE'S gonna WIN!" Chris looked like dead weight to me the minute I saw him. Can't believe he wasn't voted off. Dolly stands out for me; not sure why. So far I'm not annoyed. John (if I'm remembering the right person) is a supreme asshole, with all his stupid remarks. Liked Scout and Twila - I like seeing people work. Too bad the younger women will probably get rid of them once they build them a nice shelter. Travis strikes me as the kind of guy who might accidentally fall into a volcano. I wish him well. No one else really caught my interest yet, and I'll tell you right now I didn't even BOTHER trying to learn the names of the girls standing in the water giving each other facials.
Meet the new Survivors and get your pre-hate on. There is an actual SHEEP FARMER and her name is Dolly. You can't make this stuff up. And Scout and Lea? You can probably look forward to being first and second to go. Sorry about that.