Archives: The Amazing Race (Season Five)
Wednesday September 29, 2004
Amazing Race

An interview with Colin and Christie. THEY'RE NICE PEOPLE, REALLY! Feh. Anyway, they explain the rumor we've heard that they got a flat tire during the last leg of the Race.

Posted by freakgirl at 8:27 AM - link - Comments (6)
Filed Under: The Amazing Race (Season Five)
Wednesday September 22, 2004
More Amazing Race Fun

Read about my adventures at the Amazing Finale Party here.

Posted by freakgirl at 9:49 AM - link - Comments (29)
Filed Under: The Amazing Race (Season Five)
You Made Me a Millionaire

I have a feeling that as soon as I hit �Post,� freakgirl or J.Go will also have filed a report on last night�s great conclusion of The Amazing Race. So be it, a multiple Emmy-winning show like this deserves multiple posts. Anyway, you know it�s a good finish when your proof that God exists comes from the fact that the �God Models� finished third, despite their prayers to win. I�ve been wanting to comment on their obnoxious use of prayer for a while, but I know that everyone�s got their own set of religious beliefs (including an empty set, I suppose) and I didn�t want to get all churchy on the site. But seriously�God has better things to do than to help you win a reality show race, folks. (I have an easier time thinking that God actually picks a winner in high school football games based on the locker-room prayers.) All of your prayers and pleading won�t change His mind about what�s going to happen (God doesn't work that way), and just because you say things like �gosh� and �shoot� (and use creative visualizations like picturing Jesus at the top of a mountain calling to you) does not mean that you are going to be His pick to win. You are not the chosen ones, Brandon and Nicole, so get over yourselves and stop embarrassing the rest of us who try to save prayer for things like, I don�t know, helping loved ones. Grrr

Enough of my fundamentalist rage�three cheers for Chip and Kim and their defeat of the evil Colin and Christie. I�ve been on the Chip and Kim bandwagon for a while now (ever since Charla and Mirna got the boot), and their victory makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I�ll admit it, I cried a little bit as they ran to the finish line. It's good to see genuine enthusiasm and a non-violent competitive spirit rewarded. Granted, they got a little more devious as the race progressed (that flag maneuver was shady, yo), but I�m filing it under �necessary evil��and it�s nothing compared to the malice and borderline psychotic behavior of Colin and Christie. I hate to say it, but as the show went off, all I could think was, �I hope Colin doesn�t beat the ever-loving s**t out of Christie when they get home.� Seriously. Those kind of people make my stomach hurt.

Oh, and cheers to the Bowling Moms for an unexpectedly strong finish. Who would have predicted that at the beginning of the race?

So what did you guys think? Was it a good conclusion? Do we approve of the winners? Do we have closure, people?

Posted by Max at 7:03 AM - link - Comments (39)
Filed Under: The Amazing Race (Season Five)
Wednesday September 15, 2004
My Ox Is Broken.

Can I just tell you that last night's Amazing Race damn near killed me? That's the one you submit to Emmy, right there. I don't think I've been that angry at the end of an episode since Flo won. But you know, and yeah I'm going to say it, if Colin & Christie had been eliminated because of that Yield, I would have felt a bit bad about it. It just seemed like a crappy way to go out when those two (no matter how vile I find Colin) have been running such a tight, fast Race. But MAN, after their little performance with the ox and the mud, I was sooooo excited to see them leave. But....No. The producers eff with us once again and throw in a non-elim WHERE NO NON-ELIM SHOULD BE.

Am I reaching if I say that I think Colin & Christie were given a pass by the producers so they could stay in the race and continue generating controversy? What is the freaking point of a Yield if it's a non-elimination round? Which brings me to the fact that the Yield was probably not a good idea, and I'm hoping it doesn't come back next season. It's there only to generate hostility between teams (i.e. create drama, raise ratings) and adds that "reality show ugly" spin to a show that is exciting and thrilling on its own merits. LOSE THE YIELD! Sigh....in other news, I'm hoping for Chip and Kim to win, but I think that C&C; will do anything they can now in order to prevent that. The Bowling Mom who climbed that ladder last night totally impressed me; I was sure she wouldn't be able to do it. Aside from her periodic screeching, I dig that lady. Brandon and Nicole were actually kind of cute this week together, but enough with the praying already. So, next week is the finale (remember, it starts at 9:00pm)! Janet and I will be at the TWoP fan party in NYC and will have a full report of sightings and snark the next day for you all. (Edited to add - cool interview with an AR cameraman, courtesy of tvtattle)

Posted by freakgirl at 7:35 AM - link - Comments (40)
Filed Under: The Amazing Race (Season Five)
Wednesday September 8, 2004
Do You Think We're Doing it Right?

A question Brandon will be doomed to repeat on his wedding night. But God helps those who pray in the mud; the clue was found, and they saw that it was good. Only, how do you muck about in the mud the wrong way? I suppose they must teach a class somewhere.

Great episode. I am strongly in the Mom camp right now, although I wish they would stop saying how they're doing really well for a couple of moms...you know, the way one might say, "Not bad for a kid from the ghetto," or "Not bad for a victim of polio." Moms, in and of themselves, are capable beings. Don't diminish your abilities just because you have children, ladies! You guys have as much in you as anyone else running the race.

Colin is a strange little man from the Land of Angry who can do fantastic things like standing backflips. He did a standing backflip. From standing. I was enjoying the way he and Christie were getting along, though his apology to Christie (even though it was clear he didn't mean it) was long overdue. At least until I saw the previews for next week where he hates her again. I hear wedding bells.

Tricky editing, no? It looked like Chip and Kim were neck and neck with Tweedle Dums, but they clearly had quite a lead in the end. Goodbye twins! Goodbye!

Chip had to be the cutest man alive while he was rolling around in that zorb thing. Just listening to his "Oh my god! Oh my god!" was so fun, I giggled and clapped my hands. Go Chip! You've won me over.

Posted by Maggie at 12:54 AM - link - Comments (24)
Filed Under: The Amazing Race (Season Five)
Wednesday August 25, 2004
Hakuna Matata, You F*ckwit

I really like Max's posts about Amazing Race (even though he's super-busy lately), so I'm going to keep this short. I just got a real chuckle last night over the fact that, the past few episodes, Mirna had been freaking out over how insane and unhinged Colin is. Turns out she was totally and utterly correct. If those cameras hadn't been there, I don't think that cab/police situation would have been settled quite so peacefully. Colin and Christie make me sad.

Posted by freakgirl at 10:34 AM - link - Comments (26)
Filed Under: The Amazing Race (Season Five)
Monday August 23, 2004
Amazing Race Travel Tips

Kim at Fresh Hell linked to this short article by Zach Behr (he and the infamous Flo won season 3 of TAR) giving helpful tips for travelers wandering through exotic locales. I found the tips interesting, and it made me wish I had watched season three of the show and witnessed the heinousness that was Flo (apparently) first-hand.

Posted by Max at 6:18 PM - link - Comments (4)
Filed Under: The Amazing Race (Season Five)
Thursday August 19, 2004
The M & C Debut

Set your TiVos now--Mirna and Charla are going to be on Jimmy Kimmel tonight.

Posted by Max at 5:48 AM - link - Comments (4)
Filed Under: The Amazing Race (Season Five)
Wednesday August 18, 2004
Someone Get Phil a Tissue

Well, it had to happen eventually. Last night on The Amazing Race, Mirna and Charla were eliminated. They were my favorites, as you know. It was bad luck, pure and simple. If their plane hadn't been delayed, it could have been a totally different outcome. I will be actively rooting for Colin and Christie to lose now, and you can bet the farm that if I ever run into Colin, I'll have a few eggs for him and his psycho girlfriend. Congrats to the Bowling Moms for squeaking in at the bottom of the pack, and big kisses to Chip and Kim, who are now (along with the moms) my choice to win. I think the biggest congratulations of all go to Charla, who made my boyfriend Phil cry. :: sigh ::

Edited to add: Max, please go ahead and do your own post if you'd like. I just needed to share my sorrow about last night's show.

Posted by freakgirl at 8:18 AM - link - Comments (30)
Filed Under: The Amazing Race (Season Five)
Wednesday August 11, 2004
What the Hell is a Scarab?

Attention Amazing Racers: This is the definition of a scarab. Yah, another great episode. Mirna was totally out of her mind this week, totally out. What did she say about Colin, "He tried to assault me." Wow. She's a piece of work. Yet still, not with the hating. Charla was excellent when they were working their way down into the pyramid, shouting at Mirna to "HURRY UP!" Heh. Payback's a bitch. The Moms did a great job; glad to see they are still in it, although I feel like they're losing their spirit. I hope they get it back. And as much as I cannot stand the sight of Colin, he and Christie are running a very good race so far. It pains me to admit that. And speaking of running a good race, Marshall and Lance certainly did not. I am thrilled to see them go. They were falling apart, and congratulations on being the first Amazing Quitters. Although, really, I don't know if I would have done anything different in the same situation. Loved that Phil came to them to perform the elimination. And, now that the brothers are out of the Race, a woman is guaranteed to be part of the winning team. So guess what, Flo, you can stop crowing about being the only woman to ever win Amazing Race. Woo.

Posted by freakgirl at 8:25 AM - link - Comments (31)
Filed Under: The Amazing Race (Season Five)
Wednesday August 4, 2004
Hump and Ride?

Another fantabulous episode of Amazing Race last night. The Egyptian backdrop was STUNNING, and it was so nice that a few teams took the time to appreciate it (Charla/Mirna, Chip/Kim). My Chip love grew a little bit this week, especially after losing a place on the mat in order to help the twins. Brandon and Nicole should have waited the five seconds and let Chip and Kim take their place. It's not like a few seconds matters. As compared to, of course, a lead of what, TWELVE HOURS? I'm sure Colin will crow and crow and crow until next week's inevitable bunch. Way to waste a Fast Forward. What do you guys think about that? I thought it was a waste, because they didn't need it. But since there are only two during the Race, they wanted to just use it? The Pizza Brothers were assholes again this week. They can't possibly last much longer; the one can hardly walk.

Who was the hero this week? CHARLA! She was fantastic, and not only that, she was fantastic while dragging the dead weight of Mirna behind her. I do have to say, STILL, that no matter how obnoxious Mirna is, I still don't dislike her. The Bowling Moms were another favorite this week; as much as I hate non-elimination rounds, I was certainly relieved to see them live another week. But no money? HARSH. Oh, and the twins are too boring to live. Get them out.

Posted by freakgirl at 7:52 AM - link - Comments (50)
Filed Under: The Amazing Race (Season Five)
Wednesday July 28, 2004
We have God and we have ourselves.

One of the many things I have learned from The Amazing Race--and it was confirmed by last night's episode--is that airports and bus terminals can evoke more prayin' and God-name-droppin' than a cathedral. In addition to Mirna's powerful spiritual declaration last night (see the title of this post), you have the Models for God looking heavenward for strength at every turn. But I think Brandon and Nicole bought their "WWJD?" wristbands at a discount store or something, because all of their praying seems to elicit the same divine answer: "Go forth and sneaketh around your competition." So Brandon's too pure of heart to drink one shot of vodka (what kind of bizarro-extreme version of Christianity is he into? Seriously, y'all--I live in the Bible Belt and I know tons of believers who would have been able to make peace with the 2 oz. of liquor staining their souls) but not too pure to lie lie lie in order to win? Got it. What's most annoying about these Blue Lagoon stand-ins is not their double-crossing (we love that stuff) but that they won't ever own up to it--notice how they just sort of detach from everything and can't look anyone in the eye when confronted with their own treachery. I have to agree with the nasty"I'm heavy so my knees hurt boo freaking hoo" brothers here: They're scumbags.

The other big revelation last night was that big obstacles come in small packages--the caviar challenge was wonderful to watch (if nauseating to think about). I bet some folks were at home thinking, "But isn't caviar supposed to be delicious?" I'm sure the caviar that costs oodles of dollars for a 1-oz. tin is a delicacy; several pounds of salty fish babies-in-waiting is probably not of the same quality, I'm guessing. It was great to watch Charla plow through it (that serving had to fill her entire stomach), fun to see Chip barrel through the challenge (and gain the lead by doing so), and hands-down AWESOME to watch it shatter the spirits of Christie, Nicole, and Kami. They were shaking while they ate it, and Kami looked ready to die at the pit stop--we're talking lobotomized here. I was watching with friends, and when Nicole was standing before Phil, looking like she had been kicked in the stomach about a thousand times, one of my fellow viewers said, "That girl is broken."

And "broken" is how I think we would describe all of our hearts last night, watching Bob and Joyce come in last. Their final goodbye montage was genuinely moving and uplifting...but does anyone else out there think that CBS could have thrown ol' Joyce a bone and whispered, "Look--you don't really need to eat the bowl of caviar"?

Another great episode--are there any moments or quotes that stood out as your favorites? Hit us up in the comments, people.

Posted by Max at 6:41 AM - link - Comments (23)
Filed Under: The Amazing Race (Season Five)
Tuesday July 27, 2004
Welcome, USAToday Readers

TMFT has been mentioned in USAToday! I was interviewed for a piece about Charla & Mirna on The Amazing Race. Cool, huh? See, when you watch a lot of television, at some point you'll be recognized for it. Even if they spell your name wrong. Anyway, if you're visiting here for the first time, welcome! Have a look around and stay awhile.

Posted by freakgirl at 7:00 AM - link - Comments (6)
Filed Under: The Amazing Race (Season Five)
Wednesday July 21, 2004
Is It Wrong That I Kept Thinking About Oompa Loompas?

Last night's Amazing Race was yet another fabulous episode. My only complaint, task-wise, was the Detour. What kind of moron would have taken the mountain bikes? Let's try to make these things harder to choose between, people. Anyway. I know she is annoying, but why am I still totally charmed by Mirna? It must be her Phil love, because last night she was kind of a bitch and she still made me smile. Loved Charla and the electric fence; she kills me. The chocolate roadblock was awesome; reminded me of that one with the cheese from way back. Loved that Pizza Brother couldn't get the white one. I hate him. Loved that the Twins swam all the way to the Pit Stop and Phil laughed in their faces. And, I was very sorry to see Team Father/Daughter get eliminated. I knew they were dead when they didn't get the right plane tickets - stupid! - but I was hoping that the Pizza Brothers would fall behind them. Ah well. Oh, and Colin? Eat me.

Posted by freakgirl at 8:45 AM - link - Comments (30)
Filed Under: The Amazing Race (Season Five)
Friday July 16, 2004
You Are. No, YOU Are.

Here's an interview with Alison & Donny from The Amazing Race. They really are two grotesque, incredibly immature human beings.

Posted by freakgirl at 8:23 AM - link - Comments (8)
Filed Under: The Amazing Race (Season Five)
Wednesday July 14, 2004
Mega Shake!

After you read my take on last night's leg of The Amazing Race, just skip down one post (or just click here) and read freakgirl's review. You can leave your own comments about the show (and you know you have a few) after her post below...

Well, anyone who was worried that hatred of Alison (or pity for Donny) would distract from the joy that is The Amazing Race can exhale a sigh of relief now: The nightmare is over. Alison was acting reasonably decent (for her) last week, but now everyone has seen that her true self is still a nasty, sniping harpy. Everything you needed to know about Alison's real nature was summed up when she said part of the blame for the dog-walking/ tango mission fiasco belonged to her--BECAUSE SHE HADN'T CONTROLLED DONNY ENOUGH! It's interesting to think about how Donny plans to "redefine" his love for Alison after something like that. Personally, I would redefine it with two words: restraining order.

The various reactions to the foam party were hilarious to watch, especially since most of the teams seemed shocked--shocked!--that such a thing actually existed (and Jim was convinced that they would never have such things in the good ol' USA). At least Charla got to throw her hands in the air for a couple of seconds before Mirna dragged her out (and later, in a truly cringe-worthy moment, used the excuse "little woman!" to hitch a ride in the cemetery).

The Bowling Moms are now my favorites for sure, though I really hope they get brought some different shirts. The feud between the ever-bitchier Twins and the Married Parents promises some good moments. Does this team really exist? They're getting about 2 seconds of air time per show. And am I going to hell for loving loving loving the moment when Model for Jesus Nicole got the ever-lovin' mess groped out of her at the Mega Shake Disco?

Posted by Max at 8:26 AM - link - Comments (0)
Filed Under: The Amazing Race (Season Five)
First to Worst

CBS is the greatest television station ever in the entire world because they have given me the gift of seeing Alison lose on a game show not once, but twice. Take a second to enjoy the sweet fact that Alison lost on BB for being a bitch and a ho, and lost on Amazing Race because her dogs were the same thing. Oh, and who's the most pathetic person alive? Donny, that's who. I KNEW he'd be the one to lose it for them, and he did. Now I can relax and enjoy the rest of the race.

Anyway. Do you think the Bowling Moms really lied to Father-Daughter about changing money? It just seems so wrong and out of character for them. I kept thinking maybe the Moms just said offhand, "I don't think they take American money here," and Father-Daughter made their own conclusions. I'm loving the women right now and I don't want to have to start hating them! Note to Charla-Mirna: You guys are another favorite team, but if you tell me one more time about how you "are going to prove yourselves," you are going on my list. Get it? Good. Side note to Mirna: You are so my hero for hugging Phil at every Pit Stop. Also, Mr. Internet Date smiled on this episode, which was nice since he was Mr. Grumpy Pants all last week.

Posted by freakgirl at 8:21 AM - link - Comments (12)
Filed Under: The Amazing Race (Season Five)
Wednesday July 7, 2004
The Race Begins!

Oh Phil, how we've missed you and your strange turtleneck sweater fetish! (I spent the first ten minutes of the show talking down a friend who was having seizures over the "horror show" that was Phil's white cable-knit mock turtleneck, so I hope I didn't miss anything important).

So I think that what is most amazing (har har) about this race is that anyone coming into it without a knowledge of Big Brother 4 might actually like Alison. Hell, even I was finding it hard to hate her last night in the context of the show. Don't get me wrong--she's still heinous and the previews make it obvious that the real Alison will be unleashed on Donny next week (did she tell him "I hate looking at you"?), but I was glad that she wasn't as distracting last night as I feared.

As for the other teams, I guess it will be a few episodes before we really get to pick our love/hate designations for each, but I think Bob and Joyce are cute and sweet (see, America--not all internet-based relationships are pervy!), I like the pluck of the Bowling Moms, and Charla and Mirna (oh, how I await the clever nickname that will get attached to their team) might be my favorites. They're both so feisty! God's honest truth, though--I worry that Charla's stature really might be a bit of an obstacle in a last-minute race-for-the-finish moment, you know?

On the "I think I hate those people" side (again, what kind of world do we live in when Alison and Donny are not on this list yet?), I find it hard to muster enthusiasm for the Christian Models ("Work the runway for Jesus, Miss Thing!"). Maybe it's just because I'm not down with Brandon's hair (maybe he's going for some Absalom look for '04? Hope they don't have to run through a forest anytime soon...). But if I had to put one team in the "Yuck" pile right now, it would be Jim and Marsha. Actually, I kind of like Jim, but as long as he's saddled with that bee-yotch of a daughter, I don't think I'll be cheering for them too much. (I know, it's awful to hate a family-based team, but too bad. Bring back Geezer and Weezer!)

Overall, though, it's hard to find fault with this season or this show so far--in its frantic pace and genuinely thrilling challenges and sheer non-stop nail-biting tension, it remains the best show of its genre on the air (yes, even better than Survivor).

Posted by Max at 9:33 AM - link - Comments (37)
Filed Under: The Amazing Race (Season Five)
Tuesday July 6, 2004
Die, Alison, Die

Tonight is the premiere of Amazing Race 5. I know that everyone here at TMFT is totally psyched. Are you?

Posted by freakgirl at 9:23 AM - link - Comments (7)
Filed Under: The Amazing Race (Season Five)
Wednesday June 9, 2004
Amazing Race 5 Teams

Because I like a little salt rubbed in my wounds every now and then (damn those CBS weasels for not picking me!), I had to head over to look at the pictures and bios for the teams for The Amazing Race 5. As Snarkcake (who gave the heads-up about the newly posted info, so big thanks) noticed, the three people in the world who might have planned on rooting for Alison and Donny will be completely nauseated after reading their team description. He's kinda stupid, she's a self-centered bee-yotch--they're the original odd couple! GAG.

Posted by Max at 3:43 PM - link - Comments (5)
Filed Under: The Amazing Race (Season Five)