My friend Marc sent me this link about The Apprentice Legends Cruise, which promises to be my worst fears realized - stuck on cruiseship with Raj. :: shudder ::
So, on the season finale of The Apprentice, Kelly was hired. Whatever. He is so boring. Both Jen and Kelly's events went fine; there were a few snags, but they did equally well, I thought. Honestly, I thought Jen earned her team's respect a bit more. Let me tell you that I was disgusted by the live finale. Trump obviously knew he was going to "spontaneously" call on people in the audience, and they were obviously ready with their answers (except that one guy who panicked, ha ha). So why rub Jen's face in the fact that she was definitely going to lose? Trump's "oh, I haven't decided yet" crap was just that - crap. I just felt like 80% of that show was for shitting all over Jen, and the other 20% was for Trump to preen and for Regis to get on my nerves. Kudos to John for being the only person to stick up for Jen. The whole thing sucked, and this has really been a shitty week for reality television, hasn't it? A rare high point of entertainment was when Trump was talking to Raj (I think it was Raj) and Little Stacey was seated right behind him and became fascinated with herself in the monitor and her eyes kept darting back and forth so she could alternately check herself out and smile for the camera, all the while tossing her hair. It was awesome.
So anyway, after the vulgar display of all those jackass people, the lame win of Kelly, the taunting of Jen, I decided I no longer want to watch this show. This entire season has done nothing but piss me off. Then I saw the preview for the new season (JAN 20th? CAN A PERSON REST, PLEASE?). "Book Smart vs. Street Smart?" Have they been reading this site? I can't help it, I have to look. It even looks like they may have cast a few non-model types. Is it possible, or did I hallucinate the whole thing?
Don't forget the finale of The Apprentice is on tonight. It starts at 8:00pm and goes for roughly 15 hours. I have a feeling this is going to be like that season of Big Brother where the booted constestants hated the final two so much (Jun & Alison), they spent the reunion just giving them dirty looks.
Our good friends at TVGasm have given us all a holiday gift - the pictures of The Apprentice 2 girls in Maxim. It is truly something to behold. Crazie Stacie is barely recognizable, and Pamela just looks odd. These women are not sexy. Are they?
Okay, let's just say it - Jen versus Sandy in the boardroom last night on The Apprentice was embarassing, stupid, and I think Trump found it very SEXY. Ew. I think I would have fired them both, hired Kelly, and said into the camera, "Game over one week early. Happy holidays, bitches."
I said earlier this season that I was hoping for a Kevin/Jen Final Two. I got half my wish. I agreed with the interviewers - Kevin might be "overeducated" and a bit scattered. I'd pick him over Sandy any day, though. The Final Tasks this year look just like last year's. Kelly has the Rancic task, and I'll be pretty surprised if he doesn't win. But who knows what might happen - it doesn't seem like his team likes him very much. Oh, and the return of Little Stacy was not a happy moment in my household. I was glad to see Pamela again until I saw her frightening fashion choice. What WAS that?
Re: The Apprentice: I'm sure M&M;/Mars was thrilled to see someone represent their fine company by stripping on a NYC street corner. Way to go, Ivana.
Last night's Apprentice was a giant commercial for Pepsi Edge. Which, by the way, appears to be such a bullshit product. Did you notice in the actual commercials how SMALL the can is? Of COURSE you get less sugar when it's only a half-serving. Feh. I'm not sure how I feel about these product-placed episodes. I prefer tasks that require a bit more creativity. Anyway. Last night we lost Andy, and he totally deserved it. His inexperience came shining through when he tried to bribe the designers and, when that didn't work, starve them. I would have killed him. Jen proved once and for all how she manages to stick around - she keeps the hell quiet and lets the others destroy each other. I think it's a great strategy but, like I said a few episodes back, she must step up soon and grab herself a real win. I still predict a Kevin/Jennifer Final Two. I don't know if anyone else there is capable. Is Kelly any good? I can't even remember anything about him - he is the blandest bland that ever blanded.
The title of this post is morse code for YOU'RE FIRED! Finally, Maria - aka Bitchy McBlinkerson - has been given the boot. Of course, they had to ruin my moment of glory by forcing her to share it with Wes, but even that was enjoyable. Tell me you didn't hoot when you saw her tight little smile in the cab during the Ride of Shame. Oh, hell yeah. And did you stand up and shout "OH NO YOU DID NOT" when Jennifer totally took credit for Ivana's idea? Awesome. I can't stand Ivana, but that was a great idea. I like Jennifer, but BITCH! Did you notice Carolyn's mini-skirt yesterday? Paging Amanda Woodward...
This week's Apprentice, if anything, was a giant ad for TheKnot.com. Never underestimate the buying power of thousands of women who sit around all day and talk about their weddings. I think I might have gotten that email over the summer, heh. ANYWAY. Good episode; a bit slanted towards Sandy, but I'm not that upset about it. I'm sure there will be other challenges that are tipped towards certain individuals. What the task came down to in the end, anyway, was Marketing. Sandy knew it. Apparently Chris didn't. Apparently Chris was so grossed out by having to work with wedding gowns that he just gave up in the first ten minutes. He was a grouch and unpleasant during the whole episode; TrumpyPoo was obviously punishing him for speaking out last week, and he wasn't up to the task. Later, dude. And as for you other ones left? Stop complaining about Jennifer and let her step up and we'll see what she's made of. Ivana, there's a reason you've been in the boardroom five times. You are never going to win this, so shut yer yap. And Maria, stop blinking and pay attention to detail. GOD.
Ah, Raj, you were starting to grow on us. But if getting rid of you means keeping Kevin, then I'm okay with that right now. Note to Kevin - you screwed up royally this week. Don't make me nervous. Huge props to Raj, though, for calling out Trump on trying to force people to take others to the boardroom. And for hitting on Robin. Sexist, but very funny. Question: Would you rather have a 4 bedroom house with one bathroom on another floor, or a 3 bedroom with a bathroom near your bedroom? Just asking. Also - the incredible non-drama of the booted Apprentices coming back was breathtaking, wasn't it?
First of all, I don't understand this random choosing of the project manager...it doesn't make any sense. Why don't they choose managers based on the skill sets of the team members? Even so, Andy really needed to be project manager this week and he should have done it regardless of the roll of the dice.
I can't stand the way the rest of his team treated him. I'm so glad he had the nerve and confidence to lead the team the way he wanted, because they turned out an awesome campaign. Go Andy! Sex appeal? Maria is crazy.
Elizabeth, on the other hand, never had control of her team. Even though Raj and John made me throw up all over myself because of their behaviour in the initial meeting (were they really making fun of Arabic people? Perhaps they'll join Jennifer C. in the unemployment line soon), I still have to hand it to Elizabeth for being the worst Apprentice candidate ever. Kevin took pity on her and spent hours with her alone, coming up with a better plan that she failed to implement because she was afraid of Raj, Jennifer and John. Then she had the nerve to say to Raj that she wished someone had offered to help her out.
I love Kevin.
What else is there to say about The Apprentice other than - WOOOOOOOO! That nasty evil little witch Stacy was fired. Ah, so wonderful. So gratifying. Thank you, Donald Trump. Glad that the battle of the sexes is over; horrified that Maria had immunity this week. But we were rewarded, weren't we? Is it very obvious how much I disliked Stacy? If Maria goes next week, this show will almost have redeemed itself in my eyes. Sidenote: As someone who has to cut her cat's nails every few weeks and lives through the horrifying trauma, it was not at all easy to watch Whatserface cutting dog's nails and making them cry and bleed. What kind of person would even ALLOW a total stranger to cut their dog's nails? :: shudder :: Anyway, Carolyn earned even more Love Points with me during this episode when she disgustedly pointed out Maria's SlutWear(tm) during the dog-washing competition. I think Jennifer has a great chance of winning this whole thing. I'm pretty sure it will be a woman to win this time, but don't quote me. Well, actually, quote me if I'm correct. And once more, just for old times sake - OH STACY, JUST SHUT IT.
So, The Apprentice. This show is pissing me off. Not because John didn't deserve to get fired; he did. You don't let Raj run around like an idiot, and you don't let people decide pricing without your input. And you don't choose COUTURE when you need to sell those particular pieces to buyers. It pissed me off because it was obvious that everyone hated Pamela, and we never saw it. That irks me. If you watch the exclusive videos (see "Plot Against Pamela) on Yahoo, there's some indication, but it just seemed so ugh. Anyway. John made a YOOGE mistake by not bringing three into the Boardroom - Wes and Kevin (they were the "pricers," right? heh, get it, "price is right?" woooo) should have been there, as much as I was pleased to see Kevin in his boxers. Heh. And not poor widdle Andy. And hey - don't ever say the word "capelet" to me again. Anyway, Maria still needs a sharp stick in the eye, and I'm praying that TVGasm has a screenshot of her deep-throating that hot dog.
The Apprentice attempted to throw in a little twist last night - Trump Amy Henryed Pamela by sending her over to the loser team, puffing up her ego and then kicking her ass out the door. I wasn't happy about the way Pamela was fired. I understand that she was acting a little bit like a dictator, but honestly, people, those women needed it. They are a bunch of idiots. I do think Pamela blew it on the pricing point, and she deserved to be fired over that, I guess, since there's nowhere else to point fingers. But Trump made it sound like he was firing her for "not knowing her team," and THAT, my friends, is bullshit. Feh. Whatever. These women just kill me. And I'll deny ever saying it, but the whole reward montage with Raj getting hit by tennis balls? HILARIOUS. But why can't Raj keep his clothes on? Where's Kwame and his abs when you need them, seriously? Next week: CAROLYN LAUGHS!
Last night's Apprentice was a very decent rebound from the past two weeks of bullpoo. The person that deserved to be fired was fired, and she got yelled at by Trump, Carolyn and even Bill (woo! Bill!). I truly enjoyed watching Jen C. get raked over the coals over her very personal and rude Boardroom choices. It's tough for me to watch this show sometimes, as I don't think I really care for any of the women (to quote the Great Carolyn, "I'm embarassed to call myself a businesswoman"). This week, though, I was rooting for Stacy R. - and trust me, I'm NOT a fan - because it was a joke how blatantly Jen was trying to set her up. Jennifer M. had me in the beginning, but she lost me later. I thought Ivana was focused well on the task this week. Over on the men's side, can I get some love for my new boyfriend Kevin, who took the women to task on the way they ganged up on Stacie J.? That, my friends, was awesome. Also, as much as I hate to say it, Raj did an excellent job of motivating and leading his team to success. And - no bowtie! Woo!
This week's "I Want to Kick Your Ass" trophies go to Jen for blaming her loss on the Jews (what the HELL was THAT?) and to Chris (I think it was him) for freaking out when the table of gay guys walked in. Good lord, man. He does get a couple of bonus points for hauling out the free t-shirts wrapped in eye candy, though. I did chuckle. To sum up - big improvement over last week, although the task was kind of vague and I didn't really understand what they were going to be judged on.
I'll let J.Go or Max do the Apprentice recap, but I have one quick thing to say. If you're wondering why everyone ganged up on Stacey last night, here is exactly why. I remembered reading it over the summer. The potential bad press over that incident could have been pretty big so, in my opinion, Donald bent the rules so he could sacrifice someone to the gods of Crest toothpaste.
A good enough episode of The Apprentice last night. I love how these really cheesy tasks, like selling ice cream, really bring out people's inter-personal shit. The more simple the task, the more room there is for drama. The highlight of last night's episode, for me, was bad-ass Carolyn, who is sharpening her edge each week. She is perfection. It's also clear that she's had her face redone since last season.
So, I think Trump went a bit insane with Bradford. I think he was just saying that he would waive his immunity if he were being judged solely on his performance during the ice cream task. It's pretty clear that Trump ditched him based on everything else and really missed the point of the statement. I feel for ya, Bradford. You're a bit of a redneck, but I thought you were cute and sorry to see you go so soon.
Poor Ivana. She decompensated a bit. The Trump will never pick her now. I think she realized that she was heading back to the loft with two massive enemies, having pissed off Jennifer C. without any real need. And, I'm sorry, but Stacie J. is just insane. Her energy is just crazy and the team was smart to try and remove her. Ivana should only have picked Stacie J. and Jennifer C., which would have booted the psycho chick.
As for the men, I don't really have a lot to say. The fight about stopping to eat was so last season. Raj is really annoying, but I'm picking him as the hottie of the group. Kelly was annoying as a project manager, and selling ice cream over the phone is just a stupid idea. I felt bad for Wes.
I can't wait for next week. I wonder who Carolyn will make cry.
I�ve been trying to get at my computer all morning to chat up The Apprentice, but work keeps trying to happen at the office. How rude. So, what did you think of The Donald, the most self-promoting man in the world? I love how everything is bigger, better and grander in his world. Personally, I think he�s just overcompensating for something that's smaller, uglier and less-majestic than most. I won�t say what.
I was psyched by the first installment. The group of hopefuls seems perfect for television: lots of personality, nice looking and ready to play hard. With 18 contestants, it�s hard to pick out my favorites, but here are my early thoughts on some of last night�s key players:
Bradford: Honestly, I�m so predictable. I always love the balding guy with a goatee. You can tell he�s a bit out of his element with the chicks, but smart enough to pull back from his testosterone-inspired management style.
Andy: Wow. Nationally-ranked debater? I bet his Star Wars action figure collection rocks, too!
Jennifer C: Honey, don�t you think you looked crazy staring and mirroring The Donald as he ate shrimp? It�s an appetizer, Jenny. If this stresses you out, then you�re so not going to make it.
John: The conventional hottie of the group. Sorry, Bradford. You�re still my favorite. Though, despite his personality, Raj is a handsome fella.
Raj: Clearly, his mother told him that he was the most interesting, stylish and intelligent child in the world. Clearly, he�s very invested in believing that load of crap.
Rob: He shot himself in the foot, blaming Pamela for his lack of effort. In a group of Alpha dogs, you gotta learn to fight your way to the food dish, not wimper in the corner.
Stacie J.: Insane. I would never order a sandwich from her shop.
Also, has Caroline had work done? Love her! So, spill it. Is this going to be as good as the first season?