Randal. Oh, Randal. Randal! WHY? As we all know by now, last night Randal won The Apprentice. It was a deserved win. Although he may have lacked the intensity of Rebecca, he had a great record as PM, gained massive respect from his teammates, had the education and experience to back it up, and was basically a shoo-in from Day One. Rebecca is fantastic in her own right, and I actually look at her with a bit more awe knowing how young she is. So last night I was expecting a double-hire. It seemed like the right thing to do, and would keep in line with all of Trump's BIG SURPRISES this season. I was ready.
Apparently Randal was ready, too, because he came into that live boardroom like someone had lit a fire under his ass. He was a different person. Did he take aggression classes from Alla? And what the hell was HER outburst all about? I was a bit dismayed when Rebecca made sure to compliment and pay respect to her opponent, and Randal did not. So, Trump picked the winner, and it was Randal, and we were all happy. Yay! Randal celebrated for .5 seconds and then Trump pulled him BACK to the table and asked him if he thought he should hire Rebecca, too. Now, the natural answer to this is Yes. After all the compliments they've paid each other, their season-long lovefest of respect and kudos, it would be only right that they share their victory. And Randal said No. What a dick move. And as for you, TRUMP, if you wanted to hire Rebecca, then you should have hired Rebecca.
I'm sad that an EXCELLENT season of The Apprentice had to end on a sour note like that. But cry not for Rebecca; she's probably fielding about seventeen job offers that all pay more than Trump. And cry not for ME, bitches, because I won the Yahoo Fantasy Game! Woooo!
So, The Apprentice is down to the Final Two. Woo. This season's big events are a charity softball game at Coney Island (for Randall) and a charity comedy show in Manhattan (for Rebecca). Looks like their respective obstacles are going to be weather and a no-show Joe Piscopo. No-Show-Joe-Piscopo is the name of my next band. In an interesting change this season, we got none of the boring interviews, and the candidates were NOT given the team from Hell. Instead, Randall and Rebecca got to choose their teams, and were forced to negotiate when they wanted some of the same people. And Rebecca SMOKED Randall in the negotiation department. That girl is ready for anything, and Randall obviously thought they were just going to have a nice meal. Oops! By the way, I still have no idea who Chris is.
I'll point out what I found to be obvious mistakes made so far: Randall's four-person trip to Party City. What the hell was that? Rebecca's obsession with purple furniture - to the point where the customer was fearing a purple cake. Both candidates don't seem to be spending much time thinking about their charities, which could be a mistake. Who do you think will win?
Last night's double-firing on The Apprentice was totally lame. There was absolutely no reason to fire Alla, no reason at all. Yes, she is difficult, but it's because she is a leader and she is good at what she does. The thing that really pissed me off was that her unceremonious firing felt like Trump/Burnett have already decided who the winner(s) is, so just dumped Alla along with Felisha. She deserved better. Even though their video was lame and Alla had a lot to do with that, Felisha was acting like a paranoid freak. I also have a nagging feeling that Alla was never going to win this thing once they found out about her stripper/murder trial background.
I said winner(s) back there because I am 99% sure that both Randall and Rebecca are going to be offered The Apprentice position on the finale show. I was enjoying this season much more than I thought I would up until last night. Who knew I even gave a rat's ass about Alla? Apparently I did.
And I can't believe that when Alla tattled, Trump and Bill "Choppers" Rancic showed their support!
Freakgirl is having some technical difficulties and can't post about The Apprentice this week, but the comments are open. Have at it.
Our prayers were answered this week on The Apprentice, and one of the most obnoxious contestants ever was fired. Complete with a tablesmack and fingerpoint, I might add. Ugh. He was such an a-hole. I'm quite pleased with the remaining candidate pool - they have all shown themselves to be competent. Wow. I didn't think Felisha was good for anything until this week - she was an excellent PM. Good for her. My Randal love has hit a small roadblock, as I've noticed that when Randal is not PM, he tends to shrink into the background and try not to be noticed. Except when he's putting the wrong channel number on a poster. OOPS! I enjoyed when Trump called that a firable offense, and George barked, "THAT'S NOT WHY THEY LOST." Oh, George, we love you and your hard rock music. In other news, Trump once again paraded out his Miss Universe for no discernable reason. Whatev. I liked both artists that were chosen to perform a song, although once I heard Jidé's song, I figured they would probably lose. Good song, wrong channel. And what the hell was up with Clay? I expected him to smear on some lipstick and mascara and perform a one-man opera entitled What About Me? Dick. I fell in love a little with Levi, and so did Felisha. She was practically licking her lips.
Trump continued on his "kill 'em all, let god sort 'em out" rampage through the Boardroom this week by double-firing Brian and Marshawn. Brian totally deserved his firing - missing a client meeting is just about inexcusable. I don't know what Marshawn was thinking. Actually, I do. She knew that they were going to lose, and was trying to stay out of it. Her mistake was that she didn't just SAY that in the Boardroom. Although I don't know that it would have helped. Trump was furious with her, and if you think that doesn't have everything to do with the fact that he's got a crush on Rebecca, you know nothing. ;) Other things of note? Clay is a vindictive little shit, Alla's got mad skills, Randall loves Star Wars, so does Adam (his Jedi costume sort of disturbed me for reasons I don't quite understand), Felicia is doing a great job flying under the radar, Bill Rancic is still terrified of Trump, and this season's cab ride footage is the best damn part of the show.
Last night's episode of The Apprentice was uncomfortable on so many levels, I don't even know where to begin. Was it the part where Clay derisively told us that Brian's never had sex? Or was it the part where Clay told a group of businesspeople his propensity for slapping ass? Maybe it was when Marcus growled, "Take me off the leash," or perhaps it was when Trump leered at Carolyn's outfit (and did you notice that suddenly she was wearing a jacket?). Let's see, was it when Clay called Brian a "tight Jew," or was it when Trump questioned Brian on his virgin status and then asked Clay if he was a homosexual? QUITE a job interview, eh? In the real world, they'd all be in jail.
I was glad to see Marcus go tonight; he hasn't done anything for the past three weeks and, frankly, is acting like a little baby. Clay is a turd and I'm looking forward to his firing. This is going to sound awful, but I think Trump didn't fire Clay because he didn't want anyone to think it was because he's gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Although, really, how inappropriate was Clay in that class? It's not him being gay that's an issue. However, the fact that he's admitting he checks out every guy's ass that walks in the office sort of reinforces some of those stereotypes the phobics have, doesn't it? I don't know. I just don't like him.
Randal continues to kick ass, and I'm glad Rebecca got to participate in a reward where she didn't have to break any bones.
This was definitely my favorite Apprentice episode in a long time. It had it all - sadness (Randall getting traded to Team Bitch), humor (that rap song, ohmygod, I could watch it for days. DAYS, people), pathos (Kristi versus Jennifer), nostalgia (Bill Rancic!), love (my crush on Jon Favreau), and horror (she amputated the children's legs??). I truly thought Jennifer deserved to be fired this week - she failed on EVERY aspect of this project. I know Kristi is a snotrag and I'm glad to see her gone, but I'm wondering if she was a lot worse than we saw. Even Randall pointed out that she is a problem, and Randall usually doesn't talk a lot of smack. I wuv him. Regardless, I'm glad Kristi is gone.
I thought the men might fall apart without Randall, but they impressed me. They really work well as a team, when they're not making Markus go get Chinese food. What was up his ass, anyway? The reward was fantastic - Wyclef Jean/Sony product placement or not, it seemed fun and the guys were just acting like total goofs and not caring at all if they looked stupid. Good times. The women would have sucked all the fun out of that reward. Although I might pay money to see Toral rapping.
Sorry, I didn't get to see The Apprentice until over the weekend. Please accept this haiku.
Two ice cream mascots
What is Zip? And hi, Mark's sack
Toral won't dress up.
Last night on The Apprentice, yet another dumbass ignored Trump handing her a free pass. Even though Trump told Rebecca he wanted to fire Toral, Rebecca refused to bring her to the boardroom. Trump was actually impressed by her loyalty to her friend, and Jennifer W. ended up being fired. You know, I think Trump wanted to fire Rebecca anyway, but Carolyn talked him out of it. She was really pissed off at Jennifer W. over that whole cake thing. This game confuses me. Last week someone was fired for bringing the Annoying Guy back to the boardroom, and this week someone nearly got fired for NOT bringing Annoying Woman back to the boardroom. I guess it always comes down to who messed up more. Toral did suck at the task and clearly wasn't interested in it, but Jennifer was in charge of the CAKE, people!
As for the boys, Marcus was absolutely fine tonight and did great with the TiVo presentation, I thought. Clay is a psycho hosebeast, eh? Jackass. And I was surprised that Randal led his team to victory and scored an exemption without saying a single word the entire hour. Impressive. Oh, and the men's reward trip to the children's hospital was probably my favorite moment ever on this show, right up there next to the time Raj got pelted with tennis balls.
Damn, people. Last night's Apprentice nearly drove me to drink. Rarely on this show do you see a group of people (Team Excel) get handed an ad campaign by the customer (Rebirth of Lamborghini), have a mistake pointed out to them before the customer saw it (Green with Envy), and still colossally blow it. Then, in the Boardroom, Trump does everything short of fireworks spelling out in the sky "I AM GOING TO FIRE MARK," and Chris decides to bring back Marcus. Of course you got fired, jackass. You're right up there with the moron who waived his immunity two seasons ago. I mean, really. Marcus is a pain the ass (in EPIC proportions - "smooth as silk"? Isn't that a soymilk slogan?), but it's not his fault they lost. They lost because they took a great idea (vintage car morphing to new car) and muddled it up with METAPHORS like water and tunnels and then, for no obvious reason, tried to make it into a VW ad. When Marcus pointed out that "Green With Envy" made no sense, they laughed him out of the room. Poor stupid, correct Marcus. He won't last anyway. He's nuts.
And once again, I'm reminded that I would suck on this show because I hated Capital Edge's ad campaign. It was very aggressive (and, as someone pointed out elsewhere, very Obsession by Calvin Klein), and I thought it sort of painted the picture that Lamborghini owners are pompous assholes. Oh well. Shows how much I know!
What kind of moron comes on The Apprentice and then proudly states that women usually hate her, and she doesn't like working with them, anyway? Nice one, idiot. Have you MET Carolyn?
So this year, Trump splits the group into men versus women again because it's easier for him to tell them apart, he says. Whatever, D. He also made them run around a golf course to find a helicopter, which I found highly entertaining and humiliating at the same time. It's too early to figure out everyone's personalities, but the standouts this week were Melissa and Marcus. Melissa because she is HISPANIC, OKAY, and apparently that gives her license to be a raging bitch. Marcus because he was the suckiest leader that ever sucked. "How do you guys think I'm doing?" I can't believe they didn't laugh in his face. No big standouts for me as of yet, although at the moment I am personally rooting for Randal, as he lives in my town. I will either love or hate Josh. He seems a little bit too pleased with himself. Kristi, the women's project manager and weird Reese Witherspoon/Emily Valentine hybrid, was also sort of a crappy manager. HER FLYERS LOOKED LIKE PORN, PEOPLE. 'nuff said.
It's that time again, kids - sar has kindly set up a group for The Apprentice Fantasy game over at Yahoo! Here's the info: Group ID: 239 and Password: openme.